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How often is it that you really are aware of the exact time when you learn a life lesson? How often do you feel yourself passing the test at last? For a month or so now, I've been given the opportunity to go through an experience that I've had several times before. The kind of life experience that I've managed to bungle each time with my own sinfulness. Not trusting, not obeying, not pr-ing, not listening have all contributed to my previous failures. So this time, at 31 years of age, I passed a certain life situation test at last. It is all grace. All grace. All grace.

I was able to see clearly the situation coming. (There is so much to be said for experience.) I was able to realize my own inability and ask for wisdom and advice. I was able to obey and to follow advice. I was able to balance risk and control. I was able to face disappointment with confidence in His direction and contentment, no, joy, in His plan. My words were submitted to Him. My pride was temporarily subdued. My hope is still intact.

I know that tomorrow I'll move on to another life lesson-- that again I may fail the first one or two or ten times. But one passing grade is still miraculous. Especially since it wasn't my strength, wisdom, or patience. Have I mentioned grace?
In one area of my life, I have grown and now can see the fruit of that growth. It's overwhelming to consider how many mistakes and talks with wiser friends and prs and apologies and tears and regrets went into this one positive step. If only I had learned sooner. But I look forward with hope to celebrating His continuing work in me.

You Rock, 4th Floor!

Things you share with me: laughter, hall parties, the good bread, music, technological genius, downloaded movies, lesson plans, advice, mashed potatoes, chocolate, tea, Cambodian silk for a tree skirt, a scarf, sun-dried tomatoes, Finding Nemo, sarcasm, homemade chocolate chip cookies, chai, a turtle, breakfasts, lunches, dinners, late night snacks, students, laughter, toothbrushes (not literally), a stuffed sheep, sermons, forks, patience, shopping trips, time, a paper cutter...

I'm thankful for you all so much.

Thankful, So Thankful

Once again, it's been a long while since I blogged.

This morning, I woke very early to a headache and the upstairs neighbor making too much noise again. I returned to bed after medicating myself and waited there for the students' exercise music to start on the loudspeakers outside. "Happy Thanksgiving," I told myself. And suddenly I was swamped with thankfulness.

I look around this comfortable, little apartment with the festive Christmas tree and the messy kitchen. Physically, I have everything I need and pretty much anything I could want, right down to fresh pumpkin to make pie tonight. I'm surrounded by friends that love me and encourage me. My brothers and sisters here are gracious and precious. I get to teach students that try to learn and that randomly take my picture like I'm a superstar. My family and church family are far away geographically but very near in spirit.

And I am forgiven, justified, beloved. I'm part of the Vine. I'm guarded by the Shepherd. I eat the Bread and drink the Water of Life. I have an inheritance and a home. I have a Father, a Brother, a Comforter.

Bless the L, O my soul, and all that is within me! Bless His holy Name!