Wednesday, July 22, 2009

New Location

For the time being, this blogger website is blocked to me so I'm trying an experiment. I've taken the stuff to a new website. See it here. If it doesn't work well, I may come back to this, but I have very limited availability to get to this blogger site.

heading home

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Easter Meditations

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience-- among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

But G, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together in Chr-- by grace you are saved-- and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Chr J, so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Chr J."

Eph. 2:1-7

The Inner Eeyore

The weather is amazingly warm, blessings pour down upon me daily, I'm surrounded by eager students and encouraging friends, but none of it matters because I have a cold. Again.

I have to laugh at myself. Really, I'm not a wimp. In fact, were you to plan a tragedy or horrifically tense crisis, you'd probably want me there. When conflict or chaos is occurring, I can be as cool as a cucumber, very helpful, organized, and creative. Every ounce of positivity that I possess comes to the forefront.

And then, there are those small things that tend to turn me from Miss Optimism into Eeyore herself. Things like the minor inconvenience of having a cold. (Or that last few minutes before a bunch of guests arrive for dinner when I tend to flip out.) Seriously, the stuffy nose, fever, headache thing turns me into a depressed person. I go from praising to planning my funeral. It's wrong, it's frustrating, and it's actually quite funny. At least, I can entertain myself with my over-the-top pessimism while I blow my nose and sneeze.

I passed a friend today on the sidewalk as I returned from lunch. I'd been at my favorite restaurant, eating some of my favorite food, all alone studying for my Chinese lesson. It was peaceful and happy. I walked home in the warm wind, listening to my favorite depressing day music. Life was great, except for the cold. And my friend, passing by, says "How's it going?" "Fine," I chirped, practically hopping with fake cheerfulness. I actually did start laughing after I passed him, laughing at the monologue in my head.

"Fine? FINE? You're dying here. You can hardly breathe, you keep sneezing, and you're head's falling off. You should have said a few last words since you're not even going make it through your Chinese lesson or up to the 4th floor ever again."

It's funnier when you can hear the melodramatic, Eeyore voice in my head.

"Why does he even ask such a dumb question? 'How's it going?' Good grief. He should have asked something more helpful, like, 'Can I mail a letter for you to your family once you've passed away from this cold?' or perhaps, 'Would you like some chocolate that I happen to have right here in my briefcase?'"

Courage. I respect courage. The courage to storm the enemy positions in wartime, the courage to obey or to speak the truth. Most of all, I respect the courage of people who are actually unselfish, un-whiny, and un-pitiful while having a cold. They are my heroes.