For the time being, this blogger website is blocked to me so I'm trying an experiment. I've taken the stuff to a new website. See it here. If it doesn't work well, I may come back to this, but I have very limited availability to get to this blogger site.
heading home
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Easter Meditations
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience-- among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
But G, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together in Chr-- by grace you are saved-- and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Chr J, so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Chr J."
Eph. 2:1-7
But G, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together in Chr-- by grace you are saved-- and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Chr J, so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Chr J."
Eph. 2:1-7
The Inner Eeyore
The weather is amazingly warm, blessings pour down upon me daily, I'm surrounded by eager students and encouraging friends, but none of it matters because I have a cold. Again.
I have to laugh at myself. Really, I'm not a wimp. In fact, were you to plan a tragedy or horrifically tense crisis, you'd probably want me there. When conflict or chaos is occurring, I can be as cool as a cucumber, very helpful, organized, and creative. Every ounce of positivity that I possess comes to the forefront.
And then, there are those small things that tend to turn me from Miss Optimism into Eeyore herself. Things like the minor inconvenience of having a cold. (Or that last few minutes before a bunch of guests arrive for dinner when I tend to flip out.) Seriously, the stuffy nose, fever, headache thing turns me into a depressed person. I go from praising to planning my funeral. It's wrong, it's frustrating, and it's actually quite funny. At least, I can entertain myself with my over-the-top pessimism while I blow my nose and sneeze.
I passed a friend today on the sidewalk as I returned from lunch. I'd been at my favorite restaurant, eating some of my favorite food, all alone studying for my Chinese lesson. It was peaceful and happy. I walked home in the warm wind, listening to my favorite depressing day music. Life was great, except for the cold. And my friend, passing by, says "How's it going?" "Fine," I chirped, practically hopping with fake cheerfulness. I actually did start laughing after I passed him, laughing at the monologue in my head.
"Fine? FINE? You're dying here. You can hardly breathe, you keep sneezing, and you're head's falling off. You should have said a few last words since you're not even going make it through your Chinese lesson or up to the 4th floor ever again."
It's funnier when you can hear the melodramatic, Eeyore voice in my head.
"Why does he even ask such a dumb question? 'How's it going?' Good grief. He should have asked something more helpful, like, 'Can I mail a letter for you to your family once you've passed away from this cold?' or perhaps, 'Would you like some chocolate that I happen to have right here in my briefcase?'"
Courage. I respect courage. The courage to storm the enemy positions in wartime, the courage to obey or to speak the truth. Most of all, I respect the courage of people who are actually unselfish, un-whiny, and un-pitiful while having a cold. They are my heroes.
I have to laugh at myself. Really, I'm not a wimp. In fact, were you to plan a tragedy or horrifically tense crisis, you'd probably want me there. When conflict or chaos is occurring, I can be as cool as a cucumber, very helpful, organized, and creative. Every ounce of positivity that I possess comes to the forefront.
And then, there are those small things that tend to turn me from Miss Optimism into Eeyore herself. Things like the minor inconvenience of having a cold. (Or that last few minutes before a bunch of guests arrive for dinner when I tend to flip out.) Seriously, the stuffy nose, fever, headache thing turns me into a depressed person. I go from praising to planning my funeral. It's wrong, it's frustrating, and it's actually quite funny. At least, I can entertain myself with my over-the-top pessimism while I blow my nose and sneeze.
I passed a friend today on the sidewalk as I returned from lunch. I'd been at my favorite restaurant, eating some of my favorite food, all alone studying for my Chinese lesson. It was peaceful and happy. I walked home in the warm wind, listening to my favorite depressing day music. Life was great, except for the cold. And my friend, passing by, says "How's it going?" "Fine," I chirped, practically hopping with fake cheerfulness. I actually did start laughing after I passed him, laughing at the monologue in my head.
"Fine? FINE? You're dying here. You can hardly breathe, you keep sneezing, and you're head's falling off. You should have said a few last words since you're not even going make it through your Chinese lesson or up to the 4th floor ever again."
It's funnier when you can hear the melodramatic, Eeyore voice in my head.
"Why does he even ask such a dumb question? 'How's it going?' Good grief. He should have asked something more helpful, like, 'Can I mail a letter for you to your family once you've passed away from this cold?' or perhaps, 'Would you like some chocolate that I happen to have right here in my briefcase?'"
Courage. I respect courage. The courage to storm the enemy positions in wartime, the courage to obey or to speak the truth. Most of all, I respect the courage of people who are actually unselfish, un-whiny, and un-pitiful while having a cold. They are my heroes.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Tonight as I drift to sleep...
I'm going to try to remember these thoughts.
"G's gifts put man's best dreams to shame."
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sonnets from the Portuguese- XXVI
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life."
Prov. 13:12
I have calm confidence that He will continue to bless me with amazingly good gifts that far exceed my wishes or expectations. While this confidence may only last a minute at a time in its fullest strength, it continues to grow a teeny bit each day.
"G's gifts put man's best dreams to shame."
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sonnets from the Portuguese- XXVI
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life."
Prov. 13:12
I have calm confidence that He will continue to bless me with amazingly good gifts that far exceed my wishes or expectations. While this confidence may only last a minute at a time in its fullest strength, it continues to grow a teeny bit each day.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Learning to Live Without
"And shall I pr Thee change Thy will, my Father,
Until it be according unto mine?
But, no, L, no, that never shall be, rather
I pr Thee blend my human will with Thine.
I pr Thee hush the hurrying, eager longing,
I pr Thee soothe the pangs of keen desire--
See in my quiet places, wishes thronging--
Forbid them, L, purge, though it be with fire.
And work in me to will and do Thy pleasure
Let all within me, peaceful, reconciled,
Tarry content my Well-Beloved's leisure,
At last, at last, even as a weaned child."
For years, in times of deepest soul-searching, this poem by Amy Carmichael has expressed and focused my prys. Those times when I want something so desperately, realizing that it's not His will for me or not His will for me YET.
A weaned child has learned to live without it's accustomed, constant source of nourishment. It must wait for specific times to be fed. It must learn patience and submission and a new realm of dependence. Sometimes we have to come to think we cannot live without something and then be pulled away from it, in order to find our true strength and mature source of delight. It hurts to grow. We think we may not survive. But we will rejoice one day as we taste the wonders of His finished plan, just as the grown man forgets completely his pain of being weaned when he is feasting on steak and potatoes.
Until it be according unto mine?
But, no, L, no, that never shall be, rather
I pr Thee blend my human will with Thine.
I pr Thee hush the hurrying, eager longing,
I pr Thee soothe the pangs of keen desire--
See in my quiet places, wishes thronging--
Forbid them, L, purge, though it be with fire.
And work in me to will and do Thy pleasure
Let all within me, peaceful, reconciled,
Tarry content my Well-Beloved's leisure,
At last, at last, even as a weaned child."
For years, in times of deepest soul-searching, this poem by Amy Carmichael has expressed and focused my prys. Those times when I want something so desperately, realizing that it's not His will for me or not His will for me YET.
A weaned child has learned to live without it's accustomed, constant source of nourishment. It must wait for specific times to be fed. It must learn patience and submission and a new realm of dependence. Sometimes we have to come to think we cannot live without something and then be pulled away from it, in order to find our true strength and mature source of delight. It hurts to grow. We think we may not survive. But we will rejoice one day as we taste the wonders of His finished plan, just as the grown man forgets completely his pain of being weaned when he is feasting on steak and potatoes.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Not Good Enough
"Out of the depths I cry to you, O L! O L, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy!
If you, O L, should mark iniquities, O L, who should stand? But with you there is forgiveness that you may be feared.
I wait for the L, my soul waits and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the L more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.
O Israel, hope in the L! for with the L there is steadfast love, and with him there is plentiful redemption. And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities."
Ps. 130 is something I have to take on faith tonight. I struggle, like all humans, with coming for forgiveness when I have sinned. Even though my life is rooted in truth, I somehow believe the lie that I must find some kind of goodness on my own, that I must earn forgiveness, that I must meet some standard before my repentance is accepted.
I know I'm not good enough, and I tell myself that it's shame that keeps me from seeking His grace. But really it is pride. Frustration that once again I have failed to hit the mark. Inability to humbly hold up my hands and say, "more grace, please once again, give more grace." I claim these promises: "with him there is plentiful redemption" and "with you there is forgiveness that you may be feared." For this moment He died. His blood covers even this presumptive sin of someone who should be obeying out of love. I can rise from this moment clean and robed in His righteousness. I never need to be good enough to come to Him.
If you, O L, should mark iniquities, O L, who should stand? But with you there is forgiveness that you may be feared.
I wait for the L, my soul waits and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the L more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.
O Israel, hope in the L! for with the L there is steadfast love, and with him there is plentiful redemption. And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities."
Ps. 130 is something I have to take on faith tonight. I struggle, like all humans, with coming for forgiveness when I have sinned. Even though my life is rooted in truth, I somehow believe the lie that I must find some kind of goodness on my own, that I must earn forgiveness, that I must meet some standard before my repentance is accepted.
I know I'm not good enough, and I tell myself that it's shame that keeps me from seeking His grace. But really it is pride. Frustration that once again I have failed to hit the mark. Inability to humbly hold up my hands and say, "more grace, please once again, give more grace." I claim these promises: "with him there is plentiful redemption" and "with you there is forgiveness that you may be feared." For this moment He died. His blood covers even this presumptive sin of someone who should be obeying out of love. I can rise from this moment clean and robed in His righteousness. I never need to be good enough to come to Him.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
April Fool's Day
Today is the first of April, a day for pranks, jokes, and hoaxes. I tried to pull one off by stealing Justin's turtle, but my hilarious lack of success decided me against trying anything else.
During part of my classes today when the students were watching a video, I've been memorizing and meditating upon Ps. 37. So many commands: fret not, trust in the L, do good, delight yourself in the L, commit your way to the L, be still before the L, wait patiently, FRET NOT. The passage also lists several rewards: he will give you the desires of your heart, he will act, he will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your justice as the noonday.
On April Fool's Day, I've been reminded that I'm often such a fool. I turn so easily to fretting, to not trusting, to delighting in other things, to refusing to wait patiently. Of all people who should be doing these things, it should be me, someone who sees His grace changing lives all around her, someone who watches Him provide for her tiniest need, someone who sees His faithful forgiveness to herself and others daily. I must learn to see consistently that His way is better than my own desires or plans. I must stop being a fool.
During part of my classes today when the students were watching a video, I've been memorizing and meditating upon Ps. 37. So many commands: fret not, trust in the L, do good, delight yourself in the L, commit your way to the L, be still before the L, wait patiently, FRET NOT. The passage also lists several rewards: he will give you the desires of your heart, he will act, he will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your justice as the noonday.
On April Fool's Day, I've been reminded that I'm often such a fool. I turn so easily to fretting, to not trusting, to delighting in other things, to refusing to wait patiently. Of all people who should be doing these things, it should be me, someone who sees His grace changing lives all around her, someone who watches Him provide for her tiniest need, someone who sees His faithful forgiveness to herself and others daily. I must learn to see consistently that His way is better than my own desires or plans. I must stop being a fool.
Friday, March 27, 2009
A Typical Late Night
We have random evenings here on the 4th floor. Last night, my room gradually filled with folks from all over, and we talked and laughed and laughed. We heard about our days and dreams and one person's experiences dressing as a giant possum. Tonight we had a wonderful evening downstairs with our sp rtual family.
As we returned upstairs, the crowd thinned and only our "family" was left-- to eat yet another of Mathew's chocolate cakes-- he's on a chocolate cake experiment kick. All of the cakes have been great. We benefit from his pursuit of the perfect cake.
Now only Kelly and Justin are left. We all are working on our macs. At times, Justin is hitting himself because of the frustration of building a database. Kelly is listening to music and singing along a random part. I'm skyping to Justin a conversation regarding cheese and what it's like to milk a goat while Justin and Kelly discuss restaurant names aloud. I've decided to document this evening by taking photobooth pictures. Even with photobook I'm a terrible photographer. But this is us.
I am so blessed.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Allergy Queen
It turns out that I am allergic to even more things than I originally thought. Yesterday, I planned to have three student sisters over for dinner. First I braved Walmart supercenter by myself, returning triumphant with lots of stuff. Next I began a concentrated program of cooking and cleaning. The menu involved home-made chicken noodle soup, sandwiches, and apple cake. I was running late, so I was working rather frantically and decided to take some short cuts.
"No need to wash these apples for the cake," I thought. "I'm just going to cut the peel off anyway."
My neighbor Heidi came in and was talking to me while I finished the cake and then moved onto sandwiches. During the work, I popped a few bites of discarded apple peel into my mouth as I went along. A few minutes later, Heidi stopped me as I was working on the boiled eggs for the egg salad. "Um, I think you're having an allergy reaction. Your neck is turning red." (Unfortunately, all my neighbors know the signs after the recent Lavender Soap incident.)
"Ok. In a few minutes, I'll take a Benadryl."
"Maybe you should take it now," she said. "I'll go get it." I obediently took the Benadryl and continued working. Unfortunately, the reaction continued as well. I ended up with a swollen neck and puffy face. My throat and mouth were swelling and hurting as well. After another Benadryl and canceling my guests' arrival, the reaction began to subside. I made my neighbors come in to eat the food while I sat there on the bed feeling silly and pitiful under my blanket.
I do have great neighbors. They ate the food, helped clean up, made my copies for the next day, and even laughed at me (wait, that was coughing!). I even received a hand and neck massage from Josie and Heidi. I missed our ladies book study, but they were thinking of me and that was so helpful.
After consideration and teamwork deduction, we decided that it must have been the unwashed apples that were the culprits. I must be allergic to whatever had been sprayed onto the peels. This morning that was confirmed when I ate some of the apple cake for breakfast. I thought there wouldn't be any pesticide on the chopped apple baked into the cake. The little bit that was there was enough to cause a reaction in the middle of my first class! I quickly took the Benadryl I carry everywhere now and wondered how my students would respond if I keeled over in the middle of their quiz. PTL that I did not, and it was an uneventful class for them. Except for that quiz.
I'm thankful that I don't have the severe food allergies of my little nephew Heath Michael, but it does confirm my sister's believe that there was a mistake and she really got my child.
"No need to wash these apples for the cake," I thought. "I'm just going to cut the peel off anyway."
My neighbor Heidi came in and was talking to me while I finished the cake and then moved onto sandwiches. During the work, I popped a few bites of discarded apple peel into my mouth as I went along. A few minutes later, Heidi stopped me as I was working on the boiled eggs for the egg salad. "Um, I think you're having an allergy reaction. Your neck is turning red." (Unfortunately, all my neighbors know the signs after the recent Lavender Soap incident.)
"Ok. In a few minutes, I'll take a Benadryl."
"Maybe you should take it now," she said. "I'll go get it." I obediently took the Benadryl and continued working. Unfortunately, the reaction continued as well. I ended up with a swollen neck and puffy face. My throat and mouth were swelling and hurting as well. After another Benadryl and canceling my guests' arrival, the reaction began to subside. I made my neighbors come in to eat the food while I sat there on the bed feeling silly and pitiful under my blanket.
I do have great neighbors. They ate the food, helped clean up, made my copies for the next day, and even laughed at me (wait, that was coughing!). I even received a hand and neck massage from Josie and Heidi. I missed our ladies book study, but they were thinking of me and that was so helpful.
After consideration and teamwork deduction, we decided that it must have been the unwashed apples that were the culprits. I must be allergic to whatever had been sprayed onto the peels. This morning that was confirmed when I ate some of the apple cake for breakfast. I thought there wouldn't be any pesticide on the chopped apple baked into the cake. The little bit that was there was enough to cause a reaction in the middle of my first class! I quickly took the Benadryl I carry everywhere now and wondered how my students would respond if I keeled over in the middle of their quiz. PTL that I did not, and it was an uneventful class for them. Except for that quiz.
I'm thankful that I don't have the severe food allergies of my little nephew Heath Michael, but it does confirm my sister's believe that there was a mistake and she really got my child.
Give Me Brown Eyes
Today I'm wearing a green sweater. It's warm and soft and, I just realized this afternoon, matches my eyes. Nope, my eyes haven't changed from boring brown to green. I found myself fighting the monstrous sin of jealousy.
The situation reminds me of that verse about the man who thinks he stands watching out lest he falls, since I really wasn't expecting to fight jealousy today. It's not a sin I often struggle with. But I wasn't watching my attitude and let it sneak up on me. I wasn't being sober and vigilant and alert. Before I knew it, wham! I was flat out jealous.
My dictionary widget says that jealousy is "feeling or showing envy of someone or their advantages or achievements." Envy is "a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck." Yup. Who knew the Spirit works through the dictionary?
What is the cure for jealousy? I'm not an expert, but when I recognized it, I repented. "I know You give out the talents, the situations of life, the gifts. Your goodness to me has always been amazing and above what I deserve. I repent of wanting that person's abilities or life opportunities and return to focusing on You and what you want me to do." I'm guessing the fight isn't over on this one. But for now, I'm thankful and content.
The situation reminds me of that verse about the man who thinks he stands watching out lest he falls, since I really wasn't expecting to fight jealousy today. It's not a sin I often struggle with. But I wasn't watching my attitude and let it sneak up on me. I wasn't being sober and vigilant and alert. Before I knew it, wham! I was flat out jealous.
My dictionary widget says that jealousy is "feeling or showing envy of someone or their advantages or achievements." Envy is "a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck." Yup. Who knew the Spirit works through the dictionary?
What is the cure for jealousy? I'm not an expert, but when I recognized it, I repented. "I know You give out the talents, the situations of life, the gifts. Your goodness to me has always been amazing and above what I deserve. I repent of wanting that person's abilities or life opportunities and return to focusing on You and what you want me to do." I'm guessing the fight isn't over on this one. But for now, I'm thankful and content.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Community and A White Board
My neighbor Justin has been teaching me lessons about community. It all started months ago, after I complained once again about the noisy person who lived directly above me. It wasn’t that I couldn’t stand a little noise. Our dorm has quite a bit of hallway and stairway noise most of the time. It seemed to me that this upstairs person was re-arranging her furniture or building a construction project in her room: lots of banging and dragging and slamming. The noises seemed to be loudest at the worst times, midnight or five in the morning!
After patiently listening to my complaints on one occasion, Justin said something like this, “Whenever I’m bothered by noise here, I try to let it remind me to be thankful that I’m part of a community.”
Perhaps it wasn’t his purpose, but I was rebuked. Community is an important concept to Justin. It’s more than the idea of a neighborhood park or a block party. He feels very strongly that G has provided for us to live in communities, both our community of the people of G and the unbelievers around us, for our good and His glory. There are many good purposes in community: encouragement, sanctification, evangelism, etc. (I’m sure his explanation would be better than mine.)
The thing is, I totally agree with Justin. I also believe community is an important part of G’s plan. I try to demonstrate by love for G and others through my involvement in my different levels of community. Justin, however, is often better at it than I. Not many neighbors would respond graciously when I randomly wake them with a desire to borrow eggs for a baking “emergency”, especially at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning. This is one extreme example of his consistent kindness.
I’ve been sharing with my ladies book study group things I learn from Justin about community. But this week, I learned some unexpected lessons from the “white board situation.”
For a long time, I’ve had a Disney Princess white board hanging on the outside of my room door. It’s where I post my status, whether I’m in or out, where I’ve gone, or messages for others. People leave me messages there. Sometimes the white board will have a poll or quote or continuing story. A few days ago, I returned to my room to find that my empty white board had a sentence on it. “Justin is out.” Ok. Admittedly, it was funny. I mean, how much more funny can you get than having one person’s info on another person’s door? From inside my room, I could hear people laugh at it all afternoon. It was funnier as Justin’s status began changing. “Justin is in.” And then, “Justin is taking over this board.”
I decided to begin to protest. “Get your own board.” “Justin lives down there (big arrow) in room 407.” This last sentence was highly ineffective since Justin added to it the line, “but he’s not in now because he’s teaching.” You know me, I love a good, pointless fight. I filed a stronger complaint on the board, using words like “writing indiscriminately” and “serious consequences.” I even threatened to put my own status updates on Justin’s facebook wall in retaliation.
This was all still a joke, but after reading other friends’ input on facebook regarding the white board “war”, I decided that enough was enough. “Good grief,” I thought. “Think of everything he shares with you. You can give in and share the stupid white board.” I also had a secondary suspicion that, if the purpose of Justin’s writing was simply to annoy me, then it would cease anyway once I capitulated.
I was wrong. First, he doubted my sincerity. “No, I’m sincere. I’ll share it.” To prove my point, I put sections on the board. “Justin’s part, Karyn’s part, everyone else’s part.” Justin’s response turned a game into an unexpected moment of conviction.
“It’s not about me having a part of the board. It’s about us sharing it in community.”
Sharing. Giving. What is the value of giving or sharing if it’s always on my terms or completely under my control? Yeah, it’s just a little old white board, but it’s MY white board. You can all write on it but never forget that it’s still MINE. How many other times to I give to others or to the L, and it’s a conditional gift? Do I ever really share without limits to protect myself or my interests?
This story, in itself, illustrates the value of community. Interpersonal exchanges in our common, every day lives can be the tools He uses to “provoke us to love and to good works”, to prod us to consider our own walk in a different light.
I went out to the board on my door and erased all the partitions. “Karyn is in and is ready to share,” I wrote on it. Later I returned to see an addition. “She is so cool and nice to Justin, who is in.”
After patiently listening to my complaints on one occasion, Justin said something like this, “Whenever I’m bothered by noise here, I try to let it remind me to be thankful that I’m part of a community.”
Perhaps it wasn’t his purpose, but I was rebuked. Community is an important concept to Justin. It’s more than the idea of a neighborhood park or a block party. He feels very strongly that G has provided for us to live in communities, both our community of the people of G and the unbelievers around us, for our good and His glory. There are many good purposes in community: encouragement, sanctification, evangelism, etc. (I’m sure his explanation would be better than mine.)
The thing is, I totally agree with Justin. I also believe community is an important part of G’s plan. I try to demonstrate by love for G and others through my involvement in my different levels of community. Justin, however, is often better at it than I. Not many neighbors would respond graciously when I randomly wake them with a desire to borrow eggs for a baking “emergency”, especially at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning. This is one extreme example of his consistent kindness.
I’ve been sharing with my ladies book study group things I learn from Justin about community. But this week, I learned some unexpected lessons from the “white board situation.”
For a long time, I’ve had a Disney Princess white board hanging on the outside of my room door. It’s where I post my status, whether I’m in or out, where I’ve gone, or messages for others. People leave me messages there. Sometimes the white board will have a poll or quote or continuing story. A few days ago, I returned to my room to find that my empty white board had a sentence on it. “Justin is out.” Ok. Admittedly, it was funny. I mean, how much more funny can you get than having one person’s info on another person’s door? From inside my room, I could hear people laugh at it all afternoon. It was funnier as Justin’s status began changing. “Justin is in.” And then, “Justin is taking over this board.”
I decided to begin to protest. “Get your own board.” “Justin lives down there (big arrow) in room 407.” This last sentence was highly ineffective since Justin added to it the line, “but he’s not in now because he’s teaching.” You know me, I love a good, pointless fight. I filed a stronger complaint on the board, using words like “writing indiscriminately” and “serious consequences.” I even threatened to put my own status updates on Justin’s facebook wall in retaliation.
This was all still a joke, but after reading other friends’ input on facebook regarding the white board “war”, I decided that enough was enough. “Good grief,” I thought. “Think of everything he shares with you. You can give in and share the stupid white board.” I also had a secondary suspicion that, if the purpose of Justin’s writing was simply to annoy me, then it would cease anyway once I capitulated.
I was wrong. First, he doubted my sincerity. “No, I’m sincere. I’ll share it.” To prove my point, I put sections on the board. “Justin’s part, Karyn’s part, everyone else’s part.” Justin’s response turned a game into an unexpected moment of conviction.
“It’s not about me having a part of the board. It’s about us sharing it in community.”
Sharing. Giving. What is the value of giving or sharing if it’s always on my terms or completely under my control? Yeah, it’s just a little old white board, but it’s MY white board. You can all write on it but never forget that it’s still MINE. How many other times to I give to others or to the L, and it’s a conditional gift? Do I ever really share without limits to protect myself or my interests?
This story, in itself, illustrates the value of community. Interpersonal exchanges in our common, every day lives can be the tools He uses to “provoke us to love and to good works”, to prod us to consider our own walk in a different light.
I went out to the board on my door and erased all the partitions. “Karyn is in and is ready to share,” I wrote on it. Later I returned to see an addition. “She is so cool and nice to Justin, who is in.”
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Lions
March is here like a lion, and northeast China is blustery and cold. My ears are still frozen, and I've been inside for a while now. While it sometimes takes so much effort to walk against the blast, I often feel invigorated by it. In small doses.
I haven't blogged since the new semester began, and I'm struggling to know how to sum up the past few weeks. I'm teaching mostly new students. The subject is video English, and I have sophomore English majors. For three weeks, we've been studying the movie "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington". With all the current events, I thought that a bit of understanding of American government would be helpful to my students. "Mr. Smith" gives a simplified view of the blessings and also the dangers of capitalism, along with pertinent vocabulary. I have decided that one theme that I'd like to emphasize this semester is the idea that your priorities and values determine your choices in life. In this movie, we're seeing different people show what is the most important thing to them: truth, money, power, reputation... While it is a challenging movie for the students to watch and understand, they are nevertheless sucked into Jimmy Stewart's performance by the end of the movie. The students had to do posters and presentations of famous people or places that are mentioned or shown in the movie. One class, in particular, did a super job last week. Today, I came in to find them all staring at me expectantly. After a minute, I said to one girl, "what is it?" She looked at the back wall of the classroom. I hadn't looked up yet to see that they'd hung their American history posters all over the back wall. "Wow, that looks fantastic!" I said, and they were all pleased.
Last semester, I taught freshmen students. Yesterday, I was able to have a little "tea party" with seven of the girls. A couple of other foreign teachers stopped by, and the girls really enjoyed getting together and practicing their English. Several girls want to get together with me one on one to talk about other life things as well. I'm thankful to have had the experience of working in an activities department at a nursing home for so long. I also have the privilege of being a member of Morning Star, which is blessed with an abundance of hospitality experts from which to learn. My flexibility and hospitality skills have been honed for good use here. Often, I remember the examples of those who have blessed me as I try to reach out to others.
In my spirit, the fight goes on. He has answered several important requests already this semester, things that I'd been needing to see change in my heart. Still, the pull of the flesh, of inner slothfulness, of rebellion is ever strong. "Prone to wander, prone to leave the One I love" is often what I feel should be written on the white board outside the door of my room. Instead, mercy pours down upon me, and His grace is never failing. Life is so often a restless ocean of circumstances and people and emotions and decisions, but He is the Rock that gives stability and purpose and inexplicable joy. Some days, I can feel the breath of the roaring lion, seeking to devour me, hot on my face. If it were up to me, I'd probably run right into its jaws; my courage and wisdom are so limited. But I am becoming more confident in His love. I am safe, unworthy as I am, in His embrace.
I haven't blogged since the new semester began, and I'm struggling to know how to sum up the past few weeks. I'm teaching mostly new students. The subject is video English, and I have sophomore English majors. For three weeks, we've been studying the movie "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington". With all the current events, I thought that a bit of understanding of American government would be helpful to my students. "Mr. Smith" gives a simplified view of the blessings and also the dangers of capitalism, along with pertinent vocabulary. I have decided that one theme that I'd like to emphasize this semester is the idea that your priorities and values determine your choices in life. In this movie, we're seeing different people show what is the most important thing to them: truth, money, power, reputation... While it is a challenging movie for the students to watch and understand, they are nevertheless sucked into Jimmy Stewart's performance by the end of the movie. The students had to do posters and presentations of famous people or places that are mentioned or shown in the movie. One class, in particular, did a super job last week. Today, I came in to find them all staring at me expectantly. After a minute, I said to one girl, "what is it?" She looked at the back wall of the classroom. I hadn't looked up yet to see that they'd hung their American history posters all over the back wall. "Wow, that looks fantastic!" I said, and they were all pleased.
Last semester, I taught freshmen students. Yesterday, I was able to have a little "tea party" with seven of the girls. A couple of other foreign teachers stopped by, and the girls really enjoyed getting together and practicing their English. Several girls want to get together with me one on one to talk about other life things as well. I'm thankful to have had the experience of working in an activities department at a nursing home for so long. I also have the privilege of being a member of Morning Star, which is blessed with an abundance of hospitality experts from which to learn. My flexibility and hospitality skills have been honed for good use here. Often, I remember the examples of those who have blessed me as I try to reach out to others.
In my spirit, the fight goes on. He has answered several important requests already this semester, things that I'd been needing to see change in my heart. Still, the pull of the flesh, of inner slothfulness, of rebellion is ever strong. "Prone to wander, prone to leave the One I love" is often what I feel should be written on the white board outside the door of my room. Instead, mercy pours down upon me, and His grace is never failing. Life is so often a restless ocean of circumstances and people and emotions and decisions, but He is the Rock that gives stability and purpose and inexplicable joy. Some days, I can feel the breath of the roaring lion, seeking to devour me, hot on my face. If it were up to me, I'd probably run right into its jaws; my courage and wisdom are so limited. But I am becoming more confident in His love. I am safe, unworthy as I am, in His embrace.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Doors
We don't see as He sees. I know this truth, and yet, often, it is this very limited perspective that causes me the most frustration. Trusting that He knows the way, that He actually designs the way, and that His way is best takes faith and patience and grace beyond my reach.
Sometimes I don't realize that I have these little spiritual checklists until He reveals it to me, but I think I had one in this area. "When God opens a door--check. I'm good with following Him there. When God closes a door-- yup, got that one. When God opens the door with amazing provision and then seems to slam the same door shut-- WHAT?" That one tripped me up recently. In my fleshly control-freak way, I want Him to point in a direction and then let me just head off on my own (until I find myself in trouble). This moment by moment holding on to Him, submitting each change to Him, letting go of each dream to Him, even the ones He gave, this is impossible for me to do. He must give me grace because I am unable to exercise such faith and submission on my own.
I was pondering this kind of a situation this morning, and my reading was providentially about the life of Joseph. Wow. Joseph had a great childhood, then, BAM, slavery in Egypt. But God blessed him, being with him and giving him success in the home of his new master. Until, BAM, by obeying he ended up in prison. A door opens in serving Potiphar, and God blesses abundantly, then that door of opportunity slams totally shut. "But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. And the keeper of the prison put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners who were in the prison. Whatever was done there, he was the one who did it. The keeper of the prison paid no attention to anything that was in Joseph's charge, because the Lord was with him. And whatever he did, the Lord made it succeed." Success again. If I was Joseph, I'd have had my entire prison ministry career mapped out at this point, but again God's plans were totally different and bigger and intended for Joseph's good and the good of many others.
We never hear from Scripture what Joseph's thoughts were during all of this, except when he refuses to disobey God with Potiphar's wife. But Joseph's actions are of faithful service. He behaved as though he trusted God's plan without having to know it himself. He must have still had a positive spirit about him because others entrusted so much to him. Nothing that Joseph said or did distracts us from the point of the story: God. We glorify Him as we read this story: we only see His amazing hand working and providing and leading.
I am forced to look at my life very seriously this morning. So much of what people see is me: my whining, my pondering, my ideas, my goals. If He is supreme to me, if I can rest quietly through ups and downs, through open then shut doors, how much more will others see Him and glorify Him. I see this example in Joseph. I see this example in the lives of dear friends around me. And I repeat, only God can do this work in me, and I must obey and let Him.
Sometimes I don't realize that I have these little spiritual checklists until He reveals it to me, but I think I had one in this area. "When God opens a door--check. I'm good with following Him there. When God closes a door-- yup, got that one. When God opens the door with amazing provision and then seems to slam the same door shut-- WHAT?" That one tripped me up recently. In my fleshly control-freak way, I want Him to point in a direction and then let me just head off on my own (until I find myself in trouble). This moment by moment holding on to Him, submitting each change to Him, letting go of each dream to Him, even the ones He gave, this is impossible for me to do. He must give me grace because I am unable to exercise such faith and submission on my own.
I was pondering this kind of a situation this morning, and my reading was providentially about the life of Joseph. Wow. Joseph had a great childhood, then, BAM, slavery in Egypt. But God blessed him, being with him and giving him success in the home of his new master. Until, BAM, by obeying he ended up in prison. A door opens in serving Potiphar, and God blesses abundantly, then that door of opportunity slams totally shut. "But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. And the keeper of the prison put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners who were in the prison. Whatever was done there, he was the one who did it. The keeper of the prison paid no attention to anything that was in Joseph's charge, because the Lord was with him. And whatever he did, the Lord made it succeed." Success again. If I was Joseph, I'd have had my entire prison ministry career mapped out at this point, but again God's plans were totally different and bigger and intended for Joseph's good and the good of many others.
We never hear from Scripture what Joseph's thoughts were during all of this, except when he refuses to disobey God with Potiphar's wife. But Joseph's actions are of faithful service. He behaved as though he trusted God's plan without having to know it himself. He must have still had a positive spirit about him because others entrusted so much to him. Nothing that Joseph said or did distracts us from the point of the story: God. We glorify Him as we read this story: we only see His amazing hand working and providing and leading.
I am forced to look at my life very seriously this morning. So much of what people see is me: my whining, my pondering, my ideas, my goals. If He is supreme to me, if I can rest quietly through ups and downs, through open then shut doors, how much more will others see Him and glorify Him. I see this example in Joseph. I see this example in the lives of dear friends around me. And I repeat, only God can do this work in me, and I must obey and let Him.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Sleepy Thoughts
In case you've missed the news of the week, I have a new macbook computer which has, in only two days, become, according to Mrs. Ascher, "my best friend." Yet another cool feature is the built-in dictionary. Tonight I used it because I was pondering some verses.
Nourish- a transitive verb meaning to provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health and good condition.
Cherish- a transitive verb meaning to protect and care for someone lovingly; to hold someone or something dear
Ephesians 5:28-29 "In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church..."
It's taken me till this advanced age to really get a handle on what I am waiting for in a guy. I mean, I'm not hunting, but I want to be sure I recognize the one when he comes along. Now I realize that I've been analyzing it all too much, even though I acknowledge that the analyzing and pondering and growing of years regarding this issue are what have brought me to my now simplified conclusion.
I'm waiting for someone who resembles Christ in my life. I'm waiting for someone who actively nourishes and cherishes me. It's not enough that he meets some kind of fairy tale checklist. Probably he won't. But he will provide for my growth. He will long to protect me. He will lovingly care for me. That's worth waiting for.
The most exciting thoughts that I have about this passage revolve around the idea that I don't actually have to wait for this. The husband, who may or may not come along, is to follow the example of Christ who already nourishes and cherishes the Church. I'm a part of this church. He is actively nourishing and cherishing me. It doesn't take long to think of daily illustrations of this love that He has for me.
So tonight I lie in bed counting the ways that I am loved and nourished and cherished. And I rejoice. And, perhaps, I will sleep.
Nourish- a transitive verb meaning to provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health and good condition.
Cherish- a transitive verb meaning to protect and care for someone lovingly; to hold someone or something dear
Ephesians 5:28-29 "In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church..."
It's taken me till this advanced age to really get a handle on what I am waiting for in a guy. I mean, I'm not hunting, but I want to be sure I recognize the one when he comes along. Now I realize that I've been analyzing it all too much, even though I acknowledge that the analyzing and pondering and growing of years regarding this issue are what have brought me to my now simplified conclusion.
I'm waiting for someone who resembles Christ in my life. I'm waiting for someone who actively nourishes and cherishes me. It's not enough that he meets some kind of fairy tale checklist. Probably he won't. But he will provide for my growth. He will long to protect me. He will lovingly care for me. That's worth waiting for.
The most exciting thoughts that I have about this passage revolve around the idea that I don't actually have to wait for this. The husband, who may or may not come along, is to follow the example of Christ who already nourishes and cherishes the Church. I'm a part of this church. He is actively nourishing and cherishing me. It doesn't take long to think of daily illustrations of this love that He has for me.
So tonight I lie in bed counting the ways that I am loved and nourished and cherished. And I rejoice. And, perhaps, I will sleep.
Who Am I?
While I want to blog about my trip to the U.S. and all of the excitement and provision of these past few days, I am compelled to write about something that's been on my mind for a long time. I was forced to think about it again as I am preparing my update to Morning Star on Sunday. I was forced to think about it as I evaluated my own life in the last several weeks.
The most dangerous thing that I have found in my new life in China is an old sin: pride.
At the heart of what I do is this fact: I should be living the same life as any other child of the Father is living. Everything should be about His glory. When I go to work, I should work to bring honor to Him. I should long to be a light to my colleagues and students so He is exalted. As I interact with brothers and sisters, whatever I do and say should point to Him. Whether I'm involved in an extra-curricular event or talking on the phone or eating dumplings, He should be my primary thought. Thus my life and the lives of other brothers and sisters in Illinois who work at a nursing home or who live in Tennessee and work at an insurance company or who live in Iowa and work at home with their children should be fundamentally the same.
Admittedly, the moving of my life to the context of a foreign country has affected every part of it. Life is a bit more complicated, at times. I feel that I am continually learning and adjusting. There are new tasks and skills that challenge my mind and also my character. But the essential truths about this move are that I've been given a job that fascinates me, I'm surrounded by people that I've come to love and who show love to me, and I live in a country that I enjoy immensely. The gifts of my new situation far outweigh the challenges.
So where does this pride come in? Well, as a sinful human, pride permeates pretty much every aspect of my life. But in this particular sense, I am often faced with the temptation to see myself as others see me in my new situation. I can be tempted to view myself as my freshmen students see me, or as Chinese people on the street see me, or even as my new friends see me. Even the way that people back in America see me, as I've been reminded this past week, can be a trap for pride. My flesh loves to think of myself as important, special, and interesting: to puff itself up with the idea that what I do or what I have to say is somehow so valuable.
The reality of who I am is only found at the foot of the Cross, and often I find myself running from that truth instead of embracing it. Nothing about me is important or special or interesting without Him and His work in me. The filth that lives inside of me would condemn me without His grace. I am truly privileged to have even a tiny part in any work that He is doing in the lives of others. I'm not indispensable and can easily be put aside if I fail to direct all the praise to Him.
I'm so thankful for His Word which shines a light on my prideful thinking and for the work of the Spirit who points out my going astray and my boastful ideas. I'm also thankful for friends who are examples of humility and of lives entirely focused on Him. I'm especially thankful for the friends who have the wisdom to see me clearly, as He does, and to remind me of my need to continually be looking to Him for perspective.
The most dangerous thing that I have found in my new life in China is an old sin: pride.
At the heart of what I do is this fact: I should be living the same life as any other child of the Father is living. Everything should be about His glory. When I go to work, I should work to bring honor to Him. I should long to be a light to my colleagues and students so He is exalted. As I interact with brothers and sisters, whatever I do and say should point to Him. Whether I'm involved in an extra-curricular event or talking on the phone or eating dumplings, He should be my primary thought. Thus my life and the lives of other brothers and sisters in Illinois who work at a nursing home or who live in Tennessee and work at an insurance company or who live in Iowa and work at home with their children should be fundamentally the same.
Admittedly, the moving of my life to the context of a foreign country has affected every part of it. Life is a bit more complicated, at times. I feel that I am continually learning and adjusting. There are new tasks and skills that challenge my mind and also my character. But the essential truths about this move are that I've been given a job that fascinates me, I'm surrounded by people that I've come to love and who show love to me, and I live in a country that I enjoy immensely. The gifts of my new situation far outweigh the challenges.
So where does this pride come in? Well, as a sinful human, pride permeates pretty much every aspect of my life. But in this particular sense, I am often faced with the temptation to see myself as others see me in my new situation. I can be tempted to view myself as my freshmen students see me, or as Chinese people on the street see me, or even as my new friends see me. Even the way that people back in America see me, as I've been reminded this past week, can be a trap for pride. My flesh loves to think of myself as important, special, and interesting: to puff itself up with the idea that what I do or what I have to say is somehow so valuable.
The reality of who I am is only found at the foot of the Cross, and often I find myself running from that truth instead of embracing it. Nothing about me is important or special or interesting without Him and His work in me. The filth that lives inside of me would condemn me without His grace. I am truly privileged to have even a tiny part in any work that He is doing in the lives of others. I'm not indispensable and can easily be put aside if I fail to direct all the praise to Him.
I'm so thankful for His Word which shines a light on my prideful thinking and for the work of the Spirit who points out my going astray and my boastful ideas. I'm also thankful for friends who are examples of humility and of lives entirely focused on Him. I'm especially thankful for the friends who have the wisdom to see me clearly, as He does, and to remind me of my need to continually be looking to Him for perspective.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
"I Feel Lonely Already"
The fourth floor is very quiet this morning.
I thought of starting out this post with the sentence, "It was a cold, snowy morning in Manchuria," but I could actually see Snoopy atop the dog house with that one.
Anyway, last Friday there was an exodus as the students from our school headed home for the winter/ Spring Festival break. Since our campus is actually in an entire suburb of universities, the whole neighborhood is shutting down. Within the next couple of days, shops and restaurants and street vendors will all close. Inside our dorm building, the hallways are starting to be deserted. Even our beloved fourth floor is getting empty as people head off to America or Korea or Japan. I think the Russians are staying.
This morning our Japanese neighbors and I stood outside the building and waved goodbye to Justin as he headed off to the airport. Poor Kelly left too early in the morning for me to get up and get all dressed to go out and wave to her. Besides, someone important was traveling with her so most of the English department was downstairs to send her off. And we all said goodbye to Mathew here on the hall, him not being the type who wants a large production. Justin has a made a real effort to befriend our Japanese neighbors, so they were up and ready to send him off properly and expected me to join them. (Honestly, Justin, I would have said goodbye upstairs, but I didn't want them to think you were unloved by your American friends.) So anyway, Steve and Tommy and I start back up the stairs after waving at Justin, and Tommy says something in Japanese which Steve translates to me. She said, "I feel lonely already."
It's a good thing that I'm traveling to America on Wednesday, and Steve and Tommy return to Japan on the weekend, and Heidi will be headed for somewhere exciting within a few days. My exams are totally finished, and now I have two days to really clean my room, do all the laundry, shop for a few Chinese goodies to bring to people, and pack. So right now, I'm going to drink some tea, eat banana bread, and read the Word, here on the very quiet fourth floor.
I thought of starting out this post with the sentence, "It was a cold, snowy morning in Manchuria," but I could actually see Snoopy atop the dog house with that one.
Anyway, last Friday there was an exodus as the students from our school headed home for the winter/ Spring Festival break. Since our campus is actually in an entire suburb of universities, the whole neighborhood is shutting down. Within the next couple of days, shops and restaurants and street vendors will all close. Inside our dorm building, the hallways are starting to be deserted. Even our beloved fourth floor is getting empty as people head off to America or Korea or Japan. I think the Russians are staying.
This morning our Japanese neighbors and I stood outside the building and waved goodbye to Justin as he headed off to the airport. Poor Kelly left too early in the morning for me to get up and get all dressed to go out and wave to her. Besides, someone important was traveling with her so most of the English department was downstairs to send her off. And we all said goodbye to Mathew here on the hall, him not being the type who wants a large production. Justin has a made a real effort to befriend our Japanese neighbors, so they were up and ready to send him off properly and expected me to join them. (Honestly, Justin, I would have said goodbye upstairs, but I didn't want them to think you were unloved by your American friends.) So anyway, Steve and Tommy and I start back up the stairs after waving at Justin, and Tommy says something in Japanese which Steve translates to me. She said, "I feel lonely already."
It's a good thing that I'm traveling to America on Wednesday, and Steve and Tommy return to Japan on the weekend, and Heidi will be headed for somewhere exciting within a few days. My exams are totally finished, and now I have two days to really clean my room, do all the laundry, shop for a few Chinese goodies to bring to people, and pack. So right now, I'm going to drink some tea, eat banana bread, and read the Word, here on the very quiet fourth floor.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Love is Different Than You Think
For the last month or so, I've been acting upon a certain principle. If I discipline my mind and thoughts to G's truth, then my emotions will fall into place with that truth. Eventually. Often I act as if emotions are primary. They are so urgent, so demanding, so overwhelming. However, I believe the Truth to be the standard for my life. The facts of His Word should govern my existence, whatever my emotions tell me. It takes more faith than I often have to live based on this principle. But when I do, when I hold on to what I know is Truth through the darkness and chaos of an emotional storm, I find the reward of faith. Light dawns. Pain recedes. Emotions can be disciplined and shaped by truth. They can be subservient followers not the masters of my life. I see this so much in Ps. 119, where David clings to the Word regardless of his changing circumstances and finds Him faithful.
"Great is your mercy, O L; give me life according to your rules."
"I have gone away like a lost sheep; seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments."
"Great is your mercy, O L; give me life according to your rules."
"I have gone away like a lost sheep; seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments."
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
What Love Could Be Like
During my grading, sorting, and computing, I found that I hadn't finished grading some quizzes from my freshmen video students. I love reading what my students think. They'd just finished watching and discussing the movie Pride and Prejudice and had to answer this question, "What is a good lesson for life that you could learn from this movie?" I'm taking a break from grading to share some of their answers with you all.
"Love is the soul of marriage."
"No family could be sweet if their home lacks love."
"We should think carefully before we make a decision."
"We shouldn't think of ourselves as more important than other people."
"We should try to believe each other."
"In the world, nobody can be perfect. No matter how rich, how beautiful you are, you still should improve yourself."
"We should be patient with everyone."
"When we are getting married, we should know much about the person who we'll choose."
"Be kind to people around you, and girls should learn more, like how to play the piano." (I love this!)
"The first impression isn't the most important thing to judge whether the person is good or bad."
"We should put down our pride to receive other people's opinion about us."
"It's not much about what happens to us, but how we react to it that makes the difference. So we should face the test with a brave heart."
"Don't tell lies to your family."
And that's only from one class. I hope they really learned these things. At least they thought about them. Thanks, Jane Austen, for showing my students a little of what love is like.
"Love is the soul of marriage."
"No family could be sweet if their home lacks love."
"We should think carefully before we make a decision."
"We shouldn't think of ourselves as more important than other people."
"We should try to believe each other."
"In the world, nobody can be perfect. No matter how rich, how beautiful you are, you still should improve yourself."
"We should be patient with everyone."
"When we are getting married, we should know much about the person who we'll choose."
"Be kind to people around you, and girls should learn more, like how to play the piano." (I love this!)
"The first impression isn't the most important thing to judge whether the person is good or bad."
"We should put down our pride to receive other people's opinion about us."
"It's not much about what happens to us, but how we react to it that makes the difference. So we should face the test with a brave heart."
"Don't tell lies to your family."
And that's only from one class. I hope they really learned these things. At least they thought about them. Thanks, Jane Austen, for showing my students a little of what love is like.
What Love is Like
I've really no time to blog or even to email today. A pile of exams is calling my name. Hopefully, I'll be finished within the next couple of days. But I'm taking time because I've had something to meditate upon the last slightly bumpy week.
How should I love? Meditating on this passage and these thoughts has really helped me to see my obvious need to change. My soul has been humbled and refreshed. My focus will, I hope, become clearer as I think on these things. (and on the exams, of course)
Love is patient,
love is kind, and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
How should I love? Meditating on this passage and these thoughts has really helped me to see my obvious need to change. My soul has been humbled and refreshed. My focus will, I hope, become clearer as I think on these things. (and on the exams, of course)
Love is patient,
love is kind, and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly;
it does not seek its own,
is not provoked,
does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
