Tuesday, December 11, 2007

276 to 6

Most of the time, I write about my personal life news or issues on this blog. It’s a way for me to share with family and friends, especially those who are far away. I’m going to branch out today to write my opinion on a community issue.

If you live in Rockford, there is no need for me to recap the issue, but only to say a few words: “police chief controversy.” Since most of my, admittedly small, readership live elsewhere, I will give a brief overview, let’s call it “the Karyn version”. In 2006, the Rockford Board of Fire and Police Commissioners hired a new chief, Chet Epperson. He decided to follow the mayor’s lead in reforming city government by instituting new policies and/ or enforcing other policies. More accurately, some of these items are policies while others are procedures. For example, the Rockford police department’s drug policy was previously long range. This means, they follow the little guys to get the big guys; they use long- term operations in their approach to drug dealers. Chief Epperson decided that a police presence in the neighborhoods to nip even small time drug dealers would lead to less crime of all kinds in those neighborhoods. Then he started actually disciplining officers for certain kinds of infractions or drawing attention to them. For example, an officer was disciplined for surfing porn sites while working. Or one woman was disciplined for using too much sick time. The woman in question has been on sick leave for three out of her ten years as a Rockford police officer. Another powerful officer was criticized because when an underage drinking party was broken up, he came and removed his teenager while all of the other teenagers in attendance were arrested. Did I mention the chief cut back on the overtime budget? If you know anything about police departments, you can see where this is going. The officers are angry, the police union is called in, chaos ensues.

This is where we in Rockford have been stuck for several months: chaos, arguing, media frenzy, pressure tactics, etc. I’ve been “saying my piece” internally for a while, but now I’d better let off the steam before I explode. To begin with, I grew up in a police family. My dad was a sheriff’s deputy when I was born, but for most of my life, he was the training officer for a small city in Tennessee. When he left the police department, he was a captain and a graduate of the FBI National Academy. My uncle was a police officer, his brother was a police officer, and even my great- grandpa was the first paid police officer in his town. We lived a couple of blocks from the police department and town hall, so my sisters and I were in and out a lot. Later, my sister worked for our town and my step-mother was on the city council. I mention all of this just to let you know that I have a little familiarity with local government and also that I am highly supportive of our police officers and the work that they do.

Being supportive is one thing and being realistic is another thing. There are many good police officers. In this case, I’m using “good” to mean skilled. Okay, after mentally reviewing the officers I’ve known, I’ll rephrase. There are some good police officers. There are some honest police officers, and within that category of honest are multiple levels. Occasionally, the categories of good (skilled) and honest police officers overlap. Those men who are both skilled and honest survive if they do their job well and keep their mouths shut about other officers who may not be skilled or honest. If they don’t keep their mouths shut, they get crushed. Before I anger my entire audience, I will admit that there are exceptions to what I am saying. I’m just describing what I have seen most often. Politics and power plays abound. The status quo is not disturbed without consequences. Since I’m being very honest, I will say that, in my opinion, my father was a skilled, but not completely honest, police officer.

The heart of that last statement is what I’ve already stated about there being multiple levels within the category of honest. In police work, there is a sense of what I can only describe as entitlement. Police officers deal with so much so that we don’t have to. While I was asleep in my bed last night, police officers dealt with drug dealers, rapists, and burglars to keep me safe. They see things that you and I pray that we will never see. Daily, they view hopeless situation after hopeless situation. They watch battered women return to their abusers again and again. They see people do unspeakable things to children. They catch people in unbelievable circumstances motivated by overwhelming hatred or lust or greed.

The police officer is affected at some level by what he (or she, just keep mentally adding in the “or she) sees. Without a strong family or friend or church support system, the job can become overwhelming. Without something in life to give renewed perspective, the view can get a little skewed. Police officers aren’t appreciated like they should be nor are their pressures understood. The pay isn’t great. You are separated from your family often. You could come home beat up, spit on, or smelling like urine or puke. You get tired of watching even “decent” people lie or yell or bargain just to get out of something as basic as a traffic ticket. You face danger so often that it becomes routine. It is sad, but understandable, that divorce rates are so high among police officers.

Then, comparison begins. “I am nothing like…” Fill in what the officer sees every day. “I am under-appreciated, and so I deserve the perk of…” Whatever fills in that last statement defines the levels of honesty of which I spoke earlier, whether it is spoken aloud or simply acted out. Personally, I totally agree with the beginning statements. Police officers are doing a valuable and amazing job. They should be appreciated, and they deserve all the perks we can give them. But, I’ve seen a lot of things fill in the blank. “I am under- appreciated, and so I deserve the perk of… using city equipment at my home …not ever getting a ticket even if I deserve it… my family not ever getting a ticket even if they deserve it…having an affair on work time without anyone telling my wife…etc…” Hey, let’s get to Rockford. “I am under-appreciated, and so I deserve the perk of … being paid to stay home sick for years…surfing the internet for porn on the city’s computers… making sure my kid doesn’t get arrested when he deserves it.”

Some of these things aren’t harmful. In fact, I’ve benefited from them myself growing up and even now at times. I always knew that if I got into any kind of trouble in East Ridge and was pulled over, my dad would be called to get me. That was a thought much scarier than jail. I always knew my dad would run the background information of any guy I went out with. I’ve had him call me and say, “Why were you in the car with so and so yesterday?” Another cop had seen me, run the plates of the car I was in, and told my dad. As a high school sophomore, I was shocked when I wanted to fly to Houston for a day by myself to try out for something and my dad said yes. Turns out he had a “buddy” there that made sure I was watched by police all day long. In college, nearly a thousand miles away from my dad, I had the sheriff of that county check on me several times because he’d been a classmate of my dad’s at the Academy. There is a brotherhood formed by all that police officers go through that is strong and enduring. My father’s funeral was packed out with police. I was aware that those men knew the worst about my dad and that some of them couldn’t stand him, but they were there to support our family because that is how it is done.

With all of these thoughts in mind, the problems of the police force in Rockford are more understandable. When Chief Epperson began to cut away at things that no one had dealt with in a long time, it sounds to me like he was asking for a higher standard. Or maybe just an average standard. If I surfed for internet porn at work, I’d be fired. If I used that much sick time so that I was a detriment to my company, I’d be fired. If I broke the rules to give myself special privileges, I’d be fired.

By involving the police union, the officers have given themselves a wall of protection. Many honest cops will stand behind them, simply because going against the police union is unthinkable. They will allow themselves to fall for the rationalizations that we are hearing in the news. “It is Chief Epperson’s managerial style that is the problem.” “He isn’t handling the paperwork of these issues according to established policies.” (There seem to be no policies in place in Rockford for firing anyone.) “He should leave the day to day running of the department to the men under him.” (This is code for “let us do what we’ve always done.”)

The police union and its leaders have caused me to make this lengthy and opinionated statement simply because they have gone too far. They are putting pressure on the public in order to get rid of their chief. They are throwing around terms that scare people like “endangering officers’ lives” and “unable to protect the public properly”. They think that if we hear these things long enough we will start to say, as I’ve already seen in editorials, “I don’t care what the issues are, but if he can’t handle them without all of this fuss, then we should get rid of him anyway.” Will Chief Epperson back down? I doubt it. Will he win? Unfortunately, I really doubt that.

At night, I let my dog out into the back yard. As I stand on the porch, I can watch drug deals going down in the alley. I’d call the police again, but Joy is right when she says, “they know, but they don’t care.” They don’t want the policy of going after the little guy. Too bad for us. Maybe if they did stop that guy in the alley, there wouldn’t have been a shooting there a couple of months ago. I love my housemates, my dog, and my car, otherwise, I’d give into the temptation I always have just to march over there and let the stupid little creep have a piece of my mind. I can think of lots of creative ways to put a cramp in his business style. As it is, I’m afraid of the cost of that change, so I stick with the status quo. I hope that the people of Rockford and the police officers of Rockford don’t follow my example.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

"Thank you for caring."

If any of you knew me when I was growing up, you'll know I always had big dreams for my life and career. I was going to be a doctor, a writer, a lawyer, a princess, a senator, a journalist, a detective, a teacher, a missionary... you name it, I was probably going to be it at one time. Well, I was going to be it and somehow become famous and possibly rich. I've never "gotten off track", I just consciously decided to let God change my priorities and direct my path. Here I am now, having tried several interesting professions and learned lots of helpful life lessons, working with seniors, particularly ones with Alzheimers. I've figured out that it was WHO I am that God is concerned with and that WHAT I am doing is just a tool in His hand to shape me and make me more usable.

For the past few days, I've been training a new employee. This is one of my favorite things about my job because I get to rehearse not just what we do here but also why we do it. Then I'm reminded of all the reasons that I love this job: all of the hundred or so precious people that I see every day. Here we have a favorite saying: "To the world, you might just be one person, but to one person, you might be the world." I have the privilege to bring understanding, humor, and the love of Christ to people who may be beyond the reach of anyone else. It was a little embarrassing to find myself getting teary while explaining to my new employee just how her attitude would influence the residents at an activity. But I guess it was important for her to see that passion, no, compassion is the key to this job. Mrs. Whitely said it over and over to us when we were in high school: "People are more important than things." I kinda believed her then, but now that is one of the principles that shapes my life.

I still have big dreams for my life. Within the next year or so, I hope to be involved in missions with a fantastic group of God's servants. I always hope to write that best seller. I have faith that God will send along "Mr. Just Right For Me" to have adventures and a family with. Of course, my greatest dream right now is to learn to obey God because I love Him, with no other motivation needed.

Back to today.
"Sue, where's your walker? You need to remember your walker." Her glasses make her eyes huge, and she peers at my boss and me owlishly with frustration.

"If I could make a club..." she says. "They always... I don't..."

"I know," I sympathize. Working with Alzheimer's patients helps you become a mind-reader. "Everyone says that to you, don't they? 'Where's your walker?'"

"We just don't want you to fall," my boss explains.

"I haven't fallen in five hundred years," she states assertively.

"Let's make it five hundred and one years. Just carry your walker along with you."

"Okay. Okay." Sue smiles at me. As we start to walk away, she pats my arm gently. "Thank you. Thank you for caring."

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Cleaning out your email folders

It's a task I put off until I have to do it. But, like cleaning your room, it's a task that causes you to find things that were lost. Or people who were lost. Or yourself whom you lose all the time. I found this in a letter I wrote to a friend a couple of years ago. Pastor says we should preach to ourselves. This letter to someone else from "years ago me" caused "present day me" to feel conviction. Maybe I've shared it before-- if so, blame the contagious Alzheimers. (umm, that's a myth, in case you don't know)

"Providential timing amazes me so often. I've been concentrating very hard on similar thoughts lately. Going through the events of the past three years have really shaken up my beliefs on "what life is supposed to be like", on living life for other people's expectations, etc. Now, I am dealing with the other side of that: will I live my life for my own temporary ideas of pleasure? What is truly most important to me-- not just in my words, but in my practical life choices? Do I glorify God in how I speak, how I spend my money, how I spend my time? I don't want to look back on my short life with regrets. I don't want to be deceived by my own desires into wasting my life on things that aren't truly important. I want to live with zest and passion for the things of God. I want joy to explode out of me to those around me. I want to be a pilgrim, however that plays out in my life. So now, I'm sharing with you, friend.

You have so much potential. But potential is only potential for so long. Once the time is past, it's just wasted potential. Don't live for what anyone else wants for you, only Christ. Reevaluate everything if you have to to make sure that what you are doing is what He wants for you. Anyway, that's the advice of someone who doesn't always follow it."

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

One of "those" days

Yesterday, Joy said to me, "It's been one of 'those' days." I understood what she meant right away, but this morning I am experiencing it myself. As my boss said after I spilled the mocha all over the keyboard of my computer, "You should just go home." You know it's one of "those" days when...

The dog wakes you up thirty minutes before your alarm goes off because he has to go out.

When you stumble into the bathroom, you discover that the person who just exited used the last of the toilet paper and went back to bed. The nearest toilet paper is in the closet down the hall.

When you at your neighborhood coffee shop to get a "Happy Bosses Day" mocha for your boss, a man loitering at the nearby tobacco shop makes an obscene gesture at you.

You spill the mocha on the way out of the shop.

The man is still there and repeats his gesture.

You spill mocha in the car.

You spill mocha on the way into the building.

Residents are tramatized because the two newest baby birds in the aviary are dying in the bottom.

Your boss is thrilled about the treat until you spill mocha in your keyboard.

You knock everything out of the closet on to the floor trying to find the hot chocolate for Jeremy.

And it goes on...

Life is fun. And funny.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Soapbox

Working in the long term health field, especially with Alzheimer's patients and their families, has caused me to think through issues that I wouldn't normally face yet. One phrase that I hear often from people who talk to me about my job is this one: "I'd rather be dead that go through that." People have a variety of ways of expressing this, and most often I just kind of smile and nod and move on with the conversation. The longer I hear it, the harder I find repressing my now intense reaction to that statement. If the person isn't a believer, someone who knows the Lord Jesus Christ, I can cut them some slack. But my tolerance is wearing thin with hearing this statement from Christians, so don't be surprised if some day I snap and smack some sense into someone.

As Christians, we should recognize and revel in the sovereignty of God in every aspect of our lives. Our goal should be to bring glory to God, and as we face trials and difficulties in this life we spend much time in learning how to do that. In our growing, we learn to submit to God in all the twists and turns of life's pathways. This is a common theme of our times of fellowship around the Word, of our songs, of our books. If we face death in an early or unnatural setting such as persecution or disease, we exhort one another to glory in the affliction as it brings us and others closer to God and brings to pass His purposes in the world. But, if we live to a senior citizen age category, we suddenly have expectations. Now, we envision that each godly Christian is entitled the perfect death scenario. We want be in our right minds, surrounded by loving family and friends in graceful dignity or otherwise slip away to heaven gently in our sleep. An extended illness we might face, but certainly not one that might steal away our memories or personalities on its way.

While hopes of this kind of an end to life are totally understandable, we must face the reality that this is not always God's plan for each believing Christian. Can we dare to contemplate the sovereignty of God in relation to our plan of death? Could God be glorified by a person and family suffering through something as devastating as Alzheimers? Doesn't He find joy and value even in those people of diminished mental capacity? Wouldn't it be an outstanding testimony to His grace for a person and family to show a joyful submission to this difficult situation?

I've never actually heard someone say, "This may not be my choice, but it is God's choice for me. I reliquish control of even my mind to Him. I can trust Him with even this." I have, though, watched a tiny handful of people live this out. The beauty of their lives truly demonstrated the fact that God is magnified through weakness. They reached people that no one else will ever reach. I have never seen, though, a family unit that felt this way as well.

We live on the edge of a time when a large section of our population will be heading into old age together. Our churches are full of people who, now in their fifties and sixties, will be facing these issues along with their families. My burden is that we must think through these issues before we face them. We must challenge one another to face the adventure of the end of our lives with as much confidence in God as we faced the beginning.

I'll get off the soapbox, now, but, just so you know, there's more where that came from.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Ultimatum

So last night Joy says to the other three of us as we sit in the TV room together for a minute, "Someone has to get a boyfriend before that kitchen light bulb blows out again." Changing the kitchen light bulb involves a ladder and reaching and moving the ceiling tile and not dropping this glass globe-- not fun. "I don't care which one of us, but we need a boyfriend to use for tasks like this." We all looked at each other. "Yeah, okay." While we're dreaming of this imaginary man, let's make him like to mow the lawn and shovel snow, clean basements, wash the dog, fix appliances. Let's make him like theology and pancakes and kissing. As the appropriate birthday card I received from Joy and Mel said, "She liked imaginary men best of all."

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Catching Up

It’s been so long since I’ve written or blogged. The longer that time passes, the more reluctant I am to begin again. “Should I go back and cover all the life events that I’ve missed sharing? Should I pick up where I am now? Does anyone care to hear my ramblings anyway?” But my friend Ann-Marie and her encouraging use of blogging have prodded me into starting again. Just picking up where I am with a few flashbacks to important events of the summer.

My nephew Heath Michael Schubert was born on August 27, and I had the joy of visiting him and his parents a few weeks later. It was a good trip. I enjoyed seeing Beth and Brad’s life there in Colorado. Their church was an encouragement to me and to our family. I loved hearing Brad share the Word two times. This trip helped me get to know him little better. He and Beth are at a challenging stage of life, but he seems to be committed and faithful and growing. They are going to be great parents. The baby, of course, is a cutie—and my mom says he looks just like me. My parents joined us there, which was another great blessing since I haven’t spent time with them in about a year. They are challenging to my heart. They are both so devoted to studying the Word and applying it to every aspect of their lives that I am convicted and encouraged when I am around them. The Lord also encouraged me by allowing me to read a terrific book called “Intimate Faith” about the spiritual disciplines for women. This book, the solid preaching on repentance that we have been hearing at church, our ladies Bible study, and spending time with my parents have all been things that God is using to help me to return to a closer, more obedient walk with Him.

I forgot to mention that I finally finished the repeat classes to receive my Northland diploma, and we celebrated at the Cooks’ with a wonderful dinner with friends. I have piles of thank you notes to finish, but they will never express the gratitude I feel to all those who have helped me with this lengthy project.

There was a dating relationship in my life this summer. I suppose if a relationship is not going to work out, then this was the perfect way for it not to happen. I had several friendly dates with a Christian guy who treated me very well, but when it came time to commit more time and effort into a deeper relationship we both knew that it wasn’t the right thing for either of us. While a mutual breaking off that leaves us friends is ideal in this situation, it also shows just how little spark was there.

Our house situation is always exciting. The four of us are coming and going, and Buddy just hopes that we find time to play with him. The kitchen was repainted, and Annie and Mel are taking off the dining room wallpaper. That room will be repainted and the ceiling fixed in November. This summer, I flexed my repair woman muscles. I replaced the insides of the toilet, and (with expert assistance by Mel) took apart the inside of the freezer to fix the fridge. I have come to believe that many things are possible with patience, tools, and instructions, umm… and slight injuries. So tonight when I go home I will go down into the basement to set mouse and snake traps and to examine the pipe that Joy has reported is leaking. I also need to figure out why the drains are slow in the bathroom. I do wish that I would grow taller, since I have trouble replacing lights in the house. I can’t reach the kitchen light even on my stepladder.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Mexico Trip Part 2- The Rain






We were supposed to be the first of the teams to leave Los Fresnos at 8:30 a.m. But we were delayed by complications due to the pouring rain. Finally, we pulled out from the church at 10:30, drenched and packed into the vans. Our team to Media Luna was together with the team going to the nearby town of La Posa. We planned to stop there first and then continue on our way.

Perhaps I should describe our Media Luna group. Of course, there were Zoey, Colette, and myself. Zoey and Colette are teenagers from Morning Star, and I will have lots more to say on how well they did on this trip. I so enjoyed traveling with them! Celeste from Michigan was also on our team. She had brought her three teenaged daughters and had planned the Vacation Bible School for the week. We also had our interpreter, Iliana, who is dedicated and amazing and crazy fun. Along with all of these women, To Every Tribes sent along two of their missionary students as guides/guards/referees/providers, etc. Really, Mark and Kirby should get some type of survival medal for spending so much time with eight women, six of them teenagers.

On that first rainy morning, we didn't know each other as we traveled into Mexico. The border crossing was unbelievably smooth (thank you to all who prayed). We didn't have much distance to travel after that, but the rain and stopping to eat our packed lunches slowed us down. Finally, we turned off of the paved road and headed for the villages.

La Posa is a small town where the missionaries Steve and Robin Henry live and work. We stopped for a few minutes as the team there unloaded and met old friends. Then we continued down the muddy track to La Media Luna (Half Moon). It didn't look like much when we reached the little village on the Laguna Madre: gray and muddy and beat up from past hurricanes. But there were welcoming smiles awaiting us. We pulled up at the two room house of the missionary Chris, who was working with a team in another village that week. He loaned us his home, and even more importantly, his outhouse. Oscar and Minerva (Meme) and their family greeted us. They are some of the few Christians in this place. Meme was the one who cooked for us each day at noon. Oscar helped us with, well, everything, and we spent lots of time throughout our stay fellowshipping with them. The next door neighbors, Vallerio and Lulu and their daughter also befriended us during our stay. It's a good thing they were gracious and patient because we were a noisy American bunch at times (the women, not Mark and Kirby).

That day is kind of a muddy blur in my memory. We worked on organizing the food and other supplies. It was decided that all the girls would stay in the house since the rain and wind would make putting up tents difficult. Mark slept in the van the first night, and Oscar and his family cleaned up a place and hung a hammock for Kirby in an empty building next to their house. At one point in the day, we slogged through the mud up the hill to look out over the lagoon. We could watch the rain coming across the water toward us. As we slid back down the hill, we watched the village come out to see the afternoon's entertainment. A little bread delivery pick up truck was stuck in the mud pit that the road had become. Kirby assisted the men in their many and varied attempts to get it out. Finally, they had success by pushing it with another truck and putting stuff under the tires. Then there was nothing to see, so everyone went home.

Hours later we had sprayed the house and the outhouse with vast quantities of roach spray and put down our sleeping bags on the concrete floor. That night, I couldn't sleep well. I thought I was too old to be comfortable on the floor. I was also listening to all the animal sounds of the village, and I was roasting hot because we'd shut the front door so there was no breeze. I was waiting also. I knew there were roaches, big ones, and the anticipation was making me sick. Finally, I drifted off to be woken a few minutes after 3 a.m. by Zoey next to me. She'd found the roach crawling up onto her sleeping bag. I was actually relieved to have my fears realized. Yes, the roach was huge, but it was no match for the pink Flip Flop of Death. After the first roach incident, I felt like I could now sleep. But I hadn't counted on Zoey, who had now moved her sleeping bag so close to me that she was touching me. She kept me awake by whispering things like, "Did you hear that noise?" every few minutes. "Yes, I heard it. Go to sleep." "I can't sleep now. What if another roach crawls on me?" "Wake me up and I'll kill it." Silence for awhile. "Did you hear that noise?" "YES." Silence. "Are you awake still?" "I AM NOW."

I was wrong about being too old to sleep on the floor. It would just take a couple more nights until I was tired enough to sleep through anything, anywhere. But that's another part of the story.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Mexico Trip Part 1- Orientation

























Okay, so I flopped at journal-keeping during our trip. I was too busy knitting as fast as possible in my spare time to make a blanket for one of the ladies in my knitting class who was expecting. However, I did write in my journal the first night in Los Fresnos. Here's a bit.

"Tonight we were dropped off in Los Fresnos. We met people, helped prepare lunches for tomorrow, and saw the school before dinner and orientation. I think we'll have a good team. There was a time of singing and worship, and then a Pastor Ed Fleming shared a challenge with us. Every time I get nervous about this group (TETM), then their theology wins me over. They choose people to speak who have solid Reformed teaching and a Godward focus. Ed Fleming told us:
1. This will be a week of divine perspective: seek it.
2. This will be a week of divine providence: know it.
3. This will be a week of divine purpose: feel it.
4. This will be a week of divine pressure: obey it.
He challenged us to be open to God's changing us and to God's using us. The prayers of the other men chosen to speak were powerful as well. So far, I've still not heard David Sitton speak, but his BUP, as Ed Fleming called it, "Burden for Unreached Peoples", is impacting me through the people he's chosen to speak or whose lives he has changed.
I just hope I can sleep well on the floor tonight."

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Mexico Trip Introduction

I know I don't blog enough. At least that's what my mom says. Now, I've just been through a life-changing experience by traveling on a short term mission trip to Mexico with To Every Tribe Ministries, and I must somehow put into words all that God has done. I think I will take it a little at a time since I'm still mulling over and pondering upon the events of these last few weeks. Most of you know that three of us from Morning Star have been planning on going on this trip since Rod Conner from TETM came to our missions conference last fall. We were impressed by theology driving their work and by the philosophy and passion of the work itself. You know me: I'm cynical at times. If something seems too good to be true, then it probably is. Unless you are dealing with the grace of God-- and it seems that we were. From the moment Zoey, Colette, and I were dropped off by Jack and Jane Cook at the meeting place for orientation, I was impressed anew by the humility, flexibility, joy in service, and Christ-centered focus of the TETM leaders and students. At the last meeting at the end of the trip, seeing some of the people on different teams that I'd met the first night was like reuniting with old friends. I find myself at work the last couple of days kind of wandering around restlessly, wishing I was part of what was going on there in Los Fresnos or in Media Luna. So much has changed in me.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Heidi tagged me!

If you know me, you know how I feel about e-mail forwards and internet tag games. But I am doing this just for Heidi. :-)

Rules"
After posting these rules, each player then lists random facts/habits about herself/himself, then chooses several people to "tag". The player will then list the names of those he/she tags and leaves a comment on their blog.

  • My unfortunate nicknames have included Skinny Britches, Red Witch, Care Bear, and Kitten.
  • My dad was a police captain.
  • I can read very, very quickly.
  • I attended Jeopardy tryouts in high school.
  • I have never had a boyfriend.
  • I am a Southerner without an accent.
  • I have a Taco Bell addiction.
  • I learned to drive at age 23.

I am tagging Beth, Leah, and Georgia.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Growing in Singleness

From time to time, I enjoy reading the singles page at Crosswalk.com. They often have thought provoking articles that are a blessing. This article, "Women Who Intimitdate", by Carolyn McCulley of Sovereign Grace Ministries was convicting and challenging.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Revelation

When you're only half awake, your true reactions come out. Or so is my totally non-founded theory. People with early Alzheimer's often lose the ability to filter, to determine the correct social response. Because of that, whatever passes through their mind comes right out of their mouth. The real them is right out there in front of everyone. I always have compassion for this, mainly because it scares me to death. Although I strive for transparency in my life, the me you see is so often the edited version. All that to say, that when I'm really tired or only partially awake, my filter is weakened and my true reactions come out. And this week, I surprised myself.

One morning this week, I woke up before 5:30 a.m. Actually, I haven't been sleeping well, so that's not the surprising part. I thought, in my grogginess, that a noise had wakened me but I didn't know what it was. Then I noticed the hallway light was on. Here is a sample of the sleepy thought patterns. "Dude. Why did those girls leave that light on all night? That is so annoying! What a waste of electricity, and it is shining into my room!" I climb down from the tall bed and step around Buddy and march down the steps and turn the light out. Still my eyes are barely open. "So annoying. Why would they do that? They never do that." Climb back up into bed and under the covers. "They didn't leave the light on, I would have noticed it earlier." Try to go back to sleep. "Why was the light on?" Now I hear the noise of the screen door settling shut. "Someone got up and went out and left the light on." Roll over. "Who would go out at 5:30? Not Mel. Annie is at work. Must be Barb. Barb is so annoying for going out at 5:30 and leaving the light on. Why would she do that?" Roll over. Then very still as I hear noises on the front porch. "Barb didn't go out! Someone is on the porch, though." Try to go back to sleep. Then I heard someone making noise like they are coming in the front door. "There is an intruder coming in and out of our house at 5:30 a.m.! What a jerk!" Without any more thought, I was out of bed and rushing down the steps in my pajamas toward the intruder really mad. Finally, my eyes were wide open and my adrenaline was pumping... And there was Annie looking up at me. "We got off early," she said. By this time I was shaking and had to slowly climb back up the steps into my room, into bed, under the covers. Then it hit me. Why on earth, if I thought there was an intruder, would my first barely awake response be to rush out of bed and TOWARD the intruder. Here I am, practically unconscious, and all I can think is, "Who is breaking into our house and turning on the lights? I'll get him!" What was I going to do to the intruder anyway? Who knows, but it made me laugh an hour later when I actually woke up.

What a week!

This has been the kind of week where you think, "what could happen next?" By last night, I'd decided that nothing short of a natural disaster could top the events that have gone on in our lives this week. Then my knee went out as I was getting ready to brush my teeth, and I ended up on the bathroom floor in a heap. Mel heard the crash and came to rescue me. It was a toss-up between laughter and tears, but we decided on laughter (with a side order of loud yelling for the pain). Between the sinus infection, the visit to the freaky doctor, the inability to get my prescription even yet, the missed check in the checkbook that caused mountains of fees, late night work on the ladies conference, the car not starting, Mel getting sick, the house running out of toilet paper, Barb and the keys locked in her car, and now a swelled up knee, I felt like giving up. I wanted to put my head under the towel over the vaporizer and stay there for at least a week but resting has not been an option. Jeremy tried to help me out earlier in the week by reminding me that God is in control. But my mom really drove that home when she reminded me that God is in control, but He loves me and has a purpose for things like this. It wasn't until today when I watched Buddy with his ball that I really got a clue. Nothing embodies the spirit of worship and devotion and single-minded focus like watching that dog with his ball. Everything else is secondary. Everything else is negotiable. The ball is supreme. (If you know Buddy, you understand how profound this really is.) Here I am, with my focus on everything all around me. Sometimes it is a good thing like work or church or home or my class, sometimes it is a not good thing like a selfish entertainment or a mindless pursuit, but so often my thoughts and heart are scattered, with Christ Jesus being only one of many things in my life. This week, my focus was narrowed. My health, my car, my money, and my time were forced into situations way beyond my control. I was forced to look up: to stop- to sit- to pray, no, to beg- to pay attention. And I was struck by the thought: "Isn't this dependency where I am supposed to live all of the time?"

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Definitions

Last Sunday, we had an afternoon service at Morning Star. I wasn't there since I was at work for the Palm Sunday service here. During the Morning Star service, Pastor had a time when each family introduced themselves for the benefit of the newer attendees. About six people now, including Pastor, have informed me that he referred to me as the "matriarch" of our house of single women. My favorite version was Barb's. Annie asked her what matriarch meant. "I think it means 'old maid', " she replied. It doesn't. But the variations of what it does mean are funny. Courtesy of dictionary.com, we have the following:
1. the female head of a family or tribal line.
2. a woman who is the founder or dominant member of a community or group.
3. a venerable old woman.
4. a woman who rules a family, clan, or tribe.
5. a woman who dominates a group or an activity.
6. a highly respected woman who is a mother.
7. a female head of a family or tribe
8. a feisty older woman with a big bosom (as drawn in cartoons)
Obviously, some of these do and others do not apply.

However, the comment made me contemplate this interesting housing situation that we have had for four months now. We're an complex and varied group of women, each one so unique. We each have sin problems and life issues. We each have strengths or areas in which we excel. Without any one of the mix, it really wouldn't be the same household. There's me: older, dominant, and feisty actually do apply. However, the only one who thinks I'm the mother is Buddy, our neurotic dog. The girls are very patient with me. Sometimes, I'm too bossy or get crazy ideas or am a grump. There's Melody: creative, compulsively neat, and fun. If we didn't have Mel, sometimes we would run out of important items or live in extreme mess or miss out on themed meals. There's Barb: emotional, spiritual, and loud. Barb thinks that I don't like her loud singing and dancing, but, just because I don't do it, doesn't mean I won't miss it. Barb is visibly growing in maturity. There's Annie: practical, quiet, and adventurous. Annie tackles big projects that everyone else wants to ignore, and she sees things from a viewpoint that challenges the norm. Perhaps in my own selfish design, I would choose to have my own little house where everything was always my way and quiet. I would miss out tremendously. This house of friends has been a great challenge and blessing to me for the entire four months. I hate seeing my own selfishness as it is displayed so often when I live with others, but I'm thankful that I can repent. We have the perfect opportunity to practice love, forbearing, and giving right in our own home. I am challenged by the others' examples, and I enjoy the fellowship. We run around on our own schedules, but then we come together to recharge. We gather in our livingroom to pray together or in the TV room to watch a favorite show. In spite of the things about each other that drive us nuts, we have more in common through Christ to hold us together.

Triple Aunt

For the past four years, I have been the aunt of one small, very unique boy named Austin Lake. He is a blessing to me. He makes me laugh, he impresses me with his words of wisdom, and he's just so stinkin' cute! Lake reminds me so much of his mom, one of my favorite sisters. :-) My only regret about Lake is that I live too far away to see him often.

Now, a new chapter is opening up in our family. Beth and Brad are adding little McKenzie or Heath to the group in September. I'm really looking forward to this event. Even in their short marriage, I have loved watching all that God has done in their lives and hearing of the growth in them. This little one will enjoy being part of their home, and also I will enjoy the payback of watching Beth take care of a baby instead of being the baby of the family. More :-)

Added to all this excitement, Leah and Chad and Lake are adding baby "Ernest", long story-don't ask- to their family in November. I have more to say, but little time to do more than express my joy at this great news. Let us all pray for wisdom for Leah and Chad to name the child something that he/she will appreciate as he/she grows up!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Valentine Surprises



I suppose even getting this sick could be considered one of my Valentine blessings, since I finally went to the doctor. Since the visit was long overdue, I received powerful drugs which means that soon I should be feeling better than I have in a very long time. I'm thankful for health insurance, immediate care clinics, and, of course, powerful drugs. But my list of Valentine blessings is long this year. My sister, Leah, sent me two dozen roses of every shade and color: gold, yellow, purple, white, pink, orange. They look and smell fantastic! Mel fixed us a wonderful Valentine meal, complete with candles, decorations, gift bags, sparkling wild berry juice, and gourmet chocolates for dessert. The kids from the Boeke family at church sent specially crafted Valentines to us in the mail. Last, but not least, a package of bizarre and amazing Valentine treats was left on our front porch. The tag said, "If you pick this off the step, you will be my Valentine. Love, Johnny Depp." No, you don't need to call Johnny's wife. It was really from the creative duo of Matt and Amanda.

James Thurber once wrote that "love is what you've been through with somebody." Truly, then, I am surrounded by love. Thank you all.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Once again, for your viewing pleasure...




These pictures go out to the Buddy Garard fan club, a very active group with membership in several states. Please enjoy. He sends greetings to you all. (I think that's what he's saying.)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

No Shame

I just came back from my lunch break during which I was driving behind a bus at one point. The ad on the back said, unbelievably, "Spring Creek United Church of Christ: Where Christians take the Bible seriously, not literally."

There is just so much to say about that that I am actually speechless.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Friends can be frightening!

Some people should be banned from camera phones. That's all I have to say, Henry.