We don't see as He sees. I know this truth, and yet, often, it is this very limited perspective that causes me the most frustration. Trusting that He knows the way, that He actually designs the way, and that His way is best takes faith and patience and grace beyond my reach.
Sometimes I don't realize that I have these little spiritual checklists until He reveals it to me, but I think I had one in this area. "When God opens a door--check. I'm good with following Him there. When God closes a door-- yup, got that one. When God opens the door with amazing provision and then seems to slam the same door shut-- WHAT?" That one tripped me up recently. In my fleshly control-freak way, I want Him to point in a direction and then let me just head off on my own (until I find myself in trouble). This moment by moment holding on to Him, submitting each change to Him, letting go of each dream to Him, even the ones He gave, this is impossible for me to do. He must give me grace because I am unable to exercise such faith and submission on my own.
I was pondering this kind of a situation this morning, and my reading was providentially about the life of Joseph. Wow. Joseph had a great childhood, then, BAM, slavery in Egypt. But God blessed him, being with him and giving him success in the home of his new master. Until, BAM, by obeying he ended up in prison. A door opens in serving Potiphar, and God blesses abundantly, then that door of opportunity slams totally shut. "But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison. And the keeper of the prison put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners who were in the prison. Whatever was done there, he was the one who did it. The keeper of the prison paid no attention to anything that was in Joseph's charge, because the Lord was with him. And whatever he did, the Lord made it succeed." Success again. If I was Joseph, I'd have had my entire prison ministry career mapped out at this point, but again God's plans were totally different and bigger and intended for Joseph's good and the good of many others.
We never hear from Scripture what Joseph's thoughts were during all of this, except when he refuses to disobey God with Potiphar's wife. But Joseph's actions are of faithful service. He behaved as though he trusted God's plan without having to know it himself. He must have still had a positive spirit about him because others entrusted so much to him. Nothing that Joseph said or did distracts us from the point of the story: God. We glorify Him as we read this story: we only see His amazing hand working and providing and leading.
I am forced to look at my life very seriously this morning. So much of what people see is me: my whining, my pondering, my ideas, my goals. If He is supreme to me, if I can rest quietly through ups and downs, through open then shut doors, how much more will others see Him and glorify Him. I see this example in Joseph. I see this example in the lives of dear friends around me. And I repeat, only God can do this work in me, and I must obey and let Him.
