It's a task I put off until I have to do it. But, like cleaning your room, it's a task that causes you to find things that were lost. Or people who were lost. Or yourself whom you lose all the time. I found this in a letter I wrote to a friend a couple of years ago. Pastor says we should preach to ourselves. This letter to someone else from "years ago me" caused "present day me" to feel conviction. Maybe I've shared it before-- if so, blame the contagious Alzheimers. (umm, that's a myth, in case you don't know)
"Providential timing amazes me so often. I've been concentrating very hard on similar thoughts lately. Going through the events of the past three years have really shaken up my beliefs on "what life is supposed to be like", on living life for other people's expectations, etc. Now, I am dealing with the other side of that: will I live my life for my own temporary ideas of pleasure? What is truly most important to me-- not just in my words, but in my practical life choices? Do I glorify God in how I speak, how I spend my money, how I spend my time? I don't want to look back on my short life with regrets. I don't want to be deceived by my own desires into wasting my life on things that aren't truly important. I want to live with zest and passion for the things of God. I want joy to explode out of me to those around me. I want to be a pilgrim, however that plays out in my life. So now, I'm sharing with you, friend.
You have so much potential. But potential is only potential for so long. Once the time is past, it's just wasted potential. Don't live for what anyone else wants for you, only Christ. Reevaluate everything if you have to to make sure that what you are doing is what He wants for you. Anyway, that's the advice of someone who doesn't always follow it."
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
One of "those" days
Yesterday, Joy said to me, "It's been one of 'those' days." I understood what she meant right away, but this morning I am experiencing it myself. As my boss said after I spilled the mocha all over the keyboard of my computer, "You should just go home." You know it's one of "those" days when...
The dog wakes you up thirty minutes before your alarm goes off because he has to go out.
When you stumble into the bathroom, you discover that the person who just exited used the last of the toilet paper and went back to bed. The nearest toilet paper is in the closet down the hall.
When you at your neighborhood coffee shop to get a "Happy Bosses Day" mocha for your boss, a man loitering at the nearby tobacco shop makes an obscene gesture at you.
You spill the mocha on the way out of the shop.
The man is still there and repeats his gesture.
You spill mocha in the car.
You spill mocha on the way into the building.
Residents are tramatized because the two newest baby birds in the aviary are dying in the bottom.
Your boss is thrilled about the treat until you spill mocha in your keyboard.
You knock everything out of the closet on to the floor trying to find the hot chocolate for Jeremy.
And it goes on...
Life is fun. And funny.
The dog wakes you up thirty minutes before your alarm goes off because he has to go out.
When you stumble into the bathroom, you discover that the person who just exited used the last of the toilet paper and went back to bed. The nearest toilet paper is in the closet down the hall.
When you at your neighborhood coffee shop to get a "Happy Bosses Day" mocha for your boss, a man loitering at the nearby tobacco shop makes an obscene gesture at you.
You spill the mocha on the way out of the shop.
The man is still there and repeats his gesture.
You spill mocha in the car.
You spill mocha on the way into the building.
Residents are tramatized because the two newest baby birds in the aviary are dying in the bottom.
Your boss is thrilled about the treat until you spill mocha in your keyboard.
You knock everything out of the closet on to the floor trying to find the hot chocolate for Jeremy.
And it goes on...
Life is fun. And funny.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Soapbox
Working in the long term health field, especially with Alzheimer's patients and their families, has caused me to think through issues that I wouldn't normally face yet. One phrase that I hear often from people who talk to me about my job is this one: "I'd rather be dead that go through that." People have a variety of ways of expressing this, and most often I just kind of smile and nod and move on with the conversation. The longer I hear it, the harder I find repressing my now intense reaction to that statement. If the person isn't a believer, someone who knows the Lord Jesus Christ, I can cut them some slack. But my tolerance is wearing thin with hearing this statement from Christians, so don't be surprised if some day I snap and smack some sense into someone.
As Christians, we should recognize and revel in the sovereignty of God in every aspect of our lives. Our goal should be to bring glory to God, and as we face trials and difficulties in this life we spend much time in learning how to do that. In our growing, we learn to submit to God in all the twists and turns of life's pathways. This is a common theme of our times of fellowship around the Word, of our songs, of our books. If we face death in an early or unnatural setting such as persecution or disease, we exhort one another to glory in the affliction as it brings us and others closer to God and brings to pass His purposes in the world. But, if we live to a senior citizen age category, we suddenly have expectations. Now, we envision that each godly Christian is entitled the perfect death scenario. We want be in our right minds, surrounded by loving family and friends in graceful dignity or otherwise slip away to heaven gently in our sleep. An extended illness we might face, but certainly not one that might steal away our memories or personalities on its way.
While hopes of this kind of an end to life are totally understandable, we must face the reality that this is not always God's plan for each believing Christian. Can we dare to contemplate the sovereignty of God in relation to our plan of death? Could God be glorified by a person and family suffering through something as devastating as Alzheimers? Doesn't He find joy and value even in those people of diminished mental capacity? Wouldn't it be an outstanding testimony to His grace for a person and family to show a joyful submission to this difficult situation?
I've never actually heard someone say, "This may not be my choice, but it is God's choice for me. I reliquish control of even my mind to Him. I can trust Him with even this." I have, though, watched a tiny handful of people live this out. The beauty of their lives truly demonstrated the fact that God is magnified through weakness. They reached people that no one else will ever reach. I have never seen, though, a family unit that felt this way as well.
We live on the edge of a time when a large section of our population will be heading into old age together. Our churches are full of people who, now in their fifties and sixties, will be facing these issues along with their families. My burden is that we must think through these issues before we face them. We must challenge one another to face the adventure of the end of our lives with as much confidence in God as we faced the beginning.
I'll get off the soapbox, now, but, just so you know, there's more where that came from.
As Christians, we should recognize and revel in the sovereignty of God in every aspect of our lives. Our goal should be to bring glory to God, and as we face trials and difficulties in this life we spend much time in learning how to do that. In our growing, we learn to submit to God in all the twists and turns of life's pathways. This is a common theme of our times of fellowship around the Word, of our songs, of our books. If we face death in an early or unnatural setting such as persecution or disease, we exhort one another to glory in the affliction as it brings us and others closer to God and brings to pass His purposes in the world. But, if we live to a senior citizen age category, we suddenly have expectations. Now, we envision that each godly Christian is entitled the perfect death scenario. We want be in our right minds, surrounded by loving family and friends in graceful dignity or otherwise slip away to heaven gently in our sleep. An extended illness we might face, but certainly not one that might steal away our memories or personalities on its way.
While hopes of this kind of an end to life are totally understandable, we must face the reality that this is not always God's plan for each believing Christian. Can we dare to contemplate the sovereignty of God in relation to our plan of death? Could God be glorified by a person and family suffering through something as devastating as Alzheimers? Doesn't He find joy and value even in those people of diminished mental capacity? Wouldn't it be an outstanding testimony to His grace for a person and family to show a joyful submission to this difficult situation?
I've never actually heard someone say, "This may not be my choice, but it is God's choice for me. I reliquish control of even my mind to Him. I can trust Him with even this." I have, though, watched a tiny handful of people live this out. The beauty of their lives truly demonstrated the fact that God is magnified through weakness. They reached people that no one else will ever reach. I have never seen, though, a family unit that felt this way as well.
We live on the edge of a time when a large section of our population will be heading into old age together. Our churches are full of people who, now in their fifties and sixties, will be facing these issues along with their families. My burden is that we must think through these issues before we face them. We must challenge one another to face the adventure of the end of our lives with as much confidence in God as we faced the beginning.
I'll get off the soapbox, now, but, just so you know, there's more where that came from.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Ultimatum
So last night Joy says to the other three of us as we sit in the TV room together for a minute, "Someone has to get a boyfriend before that kitchen light bulb blows out again." Changing the kitchen light bulb involves a ladder and reaching and moving the ceiling tile and not dropping this glass globe-- not fun. "I don't care which one of us, but we need a boyfriend to use for tasks like this." We all looked at each other. "Yeah, okay." While we're dreaming of this imaginary man, let's make him like to mow the lawn and shovel snow, clean basements, wash the dog, fix appliances. Let's make him like theology and pancakes and kissing. As the appropriate birthday card I received from Joy and Mel said, "She liked imaginary men best of all."
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Catching Up
It’s been so long since I’ve written or blogged. The longer that time passes, the more reluctant I am to begin again. “Should I go back and cover all the life events that I’ve missed sharing? Should I pick up where I am now? Does anyone care to hear my ramblings anyway?” But my friend Ann-Marie and her encouraging use of blogging have prodded me into starting again. Just picking up where I am with a few flashbacks to important events of the summer.
My nephew Heath Michael Schubert was born on August 27, and I had the joy of visiting him and his parents a few weeks later. It was a good trip. I enjoyed seeing Beth and Brad’s life there in Colorado. Their church was an encouragement to me and to our family. I loved hearing Brad share the Word two times. This trip helped me get to know him little better. He and Beth are at a challenging stage of life, but he seems to be committed and faithful and growing. They are going to be great parents. The baby, of course, is a cutie—and my mom says he looks just like me. My parents joined us there, which was another great blessing since I haven’t spent time with them in about a year. They are challenging to my heart. They are both so devoted to studying the Word and applying it to every aspect of their lives that I am convicted and encouraged when I am around them. The Lord also encouraged me by allowing me to read a terrific book called “Intimate Faith” about the spiritual disciplines for women. This book, the solid preaching on repentance that we have been hearing at church, our ladies Bible study, and spending time with my parents have all been things that God is using to help me to return to a closer, more obedient walk with Him.
I forgot to mention that I finally finished the repeat classes to receive my Northland diploma, and we celebrated at the Cooks’ with a wonderful dinner with friends. I have piles of thank you notes to finish, but they will never express the gratitude I feel to all those who have helped me with this lengthy project.
There was a dating relationship in my life this summer. I suppose if a relationship is not going to work out, then this was the perfect way for it not to happen. I had several friendly dates with a Christian guy who treated me very well, but when it came time to commit more time and effort into a deeper relationship we both knew that it wasn’t the right thing for either of us. While a mutual breaking off that leaves us friends is ideal in this situation, it also shows just how little spark was there.
Our house situation is always exciting. The four of us are coming and going, and Buddy just hopes that we find time to play with him. The kitchen was repainted, and Annie and Mel are taking off the dining room wallpaper. That room will be repainted and the ceiling fixed in November. This summer, I flexed my repair woman muscles. I replaced the insides of the toilet, and (with expert assistance by Mel) took apart the inside of the freezer to fix the fridge. I have come to believe that many things are possible with patience, tools, and instructions, umm… and slight injuries. So tonight when I go home I will go down into the basement to set mouse and snake traps and to examine the pipe that Joy has reported is leaking. I also need to figure out why the drains are slow in the bathroom. I do wish that I would grow taller, since I have trouble replacing lights in the house. I can’t reach the kitchen light even on my stepladder.
My nephew Heath Michael Schubert was born on August 27, and I had the joy of visiting him and his parents a few weeks later. It was a good trip. I enjoyed seeing Beth and Brad’s life there in Colorado. Their church was an encouragement to me and to our family. I loved hearing Brad share the Word two times. This trip helped me get to know him little better. He and Beth are at a challenging stage of life, but he seems to be committed and faithful and growing. They are going to be great parents. The baby, of course, is a cutie—and my mom says he looks just like me. My parents joined us there, which was another great blessing since I haven’t spent time with them in about a year. They are challenging to my heart. They are both so devoted to studying the Word and applying it to every aspect of their lives that I am convicted and encouraged when I am around them. The Lord also encouraged me by allowing me to read a terrific book called “Intimate Faith” about the spiritual disciplines for women. This book, the solid preaching on repentance that we have been hearing at church, our ladies Bible study, and spending time with my parents have all been things that God is using to help me to return to a closer, more obedient walk with Him.
I forgot to mention that I finally finished the repeat classes to receive my Northland diploma, and we celebrated at the Cooks’ with a wonderful dinner with friends. I have piles of thank you notes to finish, but they will never express the gratitude I feel to all those who have helped me with this lengthy project.
There was a dating relationship in my life this summer. I suppose if a relationship is not going to work out, then this was the perfect way for it not to happen. I had several friendly dates with a Christian guy who treated me very well, but when it came time to commit more time and effort into a deeper relationship we both knew that it wasn’t the right thing for either of us. While a mutual breaking off that leaves us friends is ideal in this situation, it also shows just how little spark was there.
Our house situation is always exciting. The four of us are coming and going, and Buddy just hopes that we find time to play with him. The kitchen was repainted, and Annie and Mel are taking off the dining room wallpaper. That room will be repainted and the ceiling fixed in November. This summer, I flexed my repair woman muscles. I replaced the insides of the toilet, and (with expert assistance by Mel) took apart the inside of the freezer to fix the fridge. I have come to believe that many things are possible with patience, tools, and instructions, umm… and slight injuries. So tonight when I go home I will go down into the basement to set mouse and snake traps and to examine the pipe that Joy has reported is leaking. I also need to figure out why the drains are slow in the bathroom. I do wish that I would grow taller, since I have trouble replacing lights in the house. I can’t reach the kitchen light even on my stepladder.
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