How often is it that you really are aware of the exact time when you learn a life lesson? How often do you feel yourself passing the test at last? For a month or so now, I've been given the opportunity to go through an experience that I've had several times before. The kind of life experience that I've managed to bungle each time with my own sinfulness. Not trusting, not obeying, not pr-ing, not listening have all contributed to my previous failures. So this time, at 31 years of age, I passed a certain life situation test at last. It is all grace. All grace. All grace.
I was able to see clearly the situation coming. (There is so much to be said for experience.) I was able to realize my own inability and ask for wisdom and advice. I was able to obey and to follow advice. I was able to balance risk and control. I was able to face disappointment with confidence in His direction and contentment, no, joy, in His plan. My words were submitted to Him. My pride was temporarily subdued. My hope is still intact.
I know that tomorrow I'll move on to another life lesson-- that again I may fail the first one or two or ten times. But one passing grade is still miraculous. Especially since it wasn't my strength, wisdom, or patience. Have I mentioned grace?
In one area of my life, I have grown and now can see the fruit of that growth. It's overwhelming to consider how many mistakes and talks with wiser friends and prs and apologies and tears and regrets went into this one positive step. If only I had learned sooner. But I look forward with hope to celebrating His continuing work in me.
